There's a hundred dirty things that I wanna say to you

So my friends over at 2Friends1Blog haven't updated since March and I've been mourning the loss of my favorite blog for the last little while. I say friends because after reading through the entire archives of their blog, I feel like I know Catie and Ryan. I actually feel like, years from now, I will be Catie and Ryan (maybe a little less male and a little less gay than Ryan).

Honestly, I've never laughed so hard while reading something someone else has written. Sure, I laugh hysterically at my own material all the time. That's different. No one is safe from Rytie's wrath... Tila Tequila, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears (x1000), the Jonas brothers, mullets, penny loafers, Real Housewives of every fucking state in the USA... the list goes on.

So Catie and Ryan, if you're reading this, please come back. I need more Monday Morning gross-outs, I need to hear more about pathetic cougars, I want more personal embarassing stories. Don't leave me this way.

BBFF
(Best blog friends forever)

OH no you did-ent!

This shit is intense, and courtesy of the 2friends1blog archives.

And can someone please explain to me why, when ghetto people fight, they take off their fucking boots and coats and hoop earrings? I mean, I get not wanting to have your ears ripped off. I get that. But if you're so fucking ghetto, how can you afford big ass hoop earrings? Or why even wear them? You're probably taking them off every second day to throw down.

And can I get a what the fuck for the manager of McDick's throwing HOT GREASE at the trannies? I guess I would have felt threatened too. Big dudes with stilettos and long fingernails... that's a lot of weaponry.