That's not my name

A name is pretty important, considering it (typically) is what you are called for the rest of your life. Unless, of course, you change it. I've compiled a list of the worst celebrity baby names I have ever heard. I forsee many name changes in these kids' futures.

[No particular order, they are all so bad]

1. Pilot Inspektor - Son of Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf. I can sort of back Pilot, surprisingly, but Inspektor? And why that choice for spelling? Upon further inspektion, BAD CHOICE.

2. Apple - Daughter of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow. This name always makes it onto worst lists. I just don't understand the appeal of naming your child after a fruit. Siblings to one day include: Strawberry, Pineapple, and Watermelon.

3. Speck Wildhorse - Son of John Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin. Speck is weird, but Wildhorse? Wildhorse isn't a name, it's a horse that lives in the wild.

4. Tu - Daughter of Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayre. In case you didn't understand, her name is Tu Morrow (tomorrow). Enough said.

5. Audio Science - Spawn of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton. I can't even remember if this kid is a boy or girl. Audio Science sounds like a department at school, like the Audio Visual department.

6. Moon Unit - Spawn of Frank Zappa. Siblings (for real) include Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, and Diva. WTF.

7. Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily - Daughter of Paula Yates and Bob Geldof. Siblings include: Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Pixie. I think Paula and Bob mistook a "Dog Name" website for a "Baby Name" website.

8. Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q - Son of Bono. Elijah and Bob are totally legit, but then Bono had to add Patricius Guggi Q. Just say that out loud to yourself.

9. Jermajesty - Son of Jermaine Jackson. Say it out loud if you don't understand.

10. Coco - Daughter of Courtney Cox and David Arquette. Courtney wanted to name her daughter after herself, but then decided on using an old nickname from when she was a child. Coco sounds like a name you'd give a monkey.

11. Kyd - Son of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni. Great name until Kyd grows up and isn't a kid anymore.

12. Sage Moonblood - Spawn of Sylvester Stallone. Sage could be a name, really. But Moonblood, really? Was Stallone tripping on LSD when he named this kid?

13. Blue Angel - Daughter of The Edge and Aislinn O'Sullivan. Why Blue? Why not Purple or Red or Pink or Puce? Puce Angel, has a certain ring to it.

14. God'Iss Love Stone - Daughter of Lil' Mo. She may think "God is love", but she probably could have bought a t-shirt that says that or something, instead of ruining her daughter's life.

15. Hopper - Son of Sean Penn and Robin Wright. Pretty sure my friend had a pet bunny named Hopper.

16. Moxie CrimeFighter - Daughter of Penn Jillette. I guess it could be an empowering name. Moxie just makes me think of the soap company, and CrimeFighter is, well, ridiculous. Why not name the kid Dove FireFighter? Penn, feel free to use that name on the next baby.

17. Poppy Honey - Daughter of Jamie and Jules Oliver. Siblings include: Daisy Boo. I don't really know what to say about this, but c'mon!

18. Satchel - Spawn of Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee. They named their kid after a kind of bag. Could have gone with Purse or Kit Bag (the latter provides a middle name as well, how handy).

19. Seven Sirius - Son of Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu. George Constanza thought Seven was a good name, so take from that what you will. And Sirius makes me think of HP, satellite radio, or a constellation... you can also take from that what you will.

20. Bogart Che Peyote - Son of Reality star David "Puck" Rainey. Naming your kid after revolutionaries and drugs is an awesome idea. Ecstasy is a pretty girl name.

21. Free - Spawn of Barbara Hershey and David Carradine. I hope this child's middle name is Bird. If so, I take it back that this is a bad baby name.

22. Ickitt - Son of M.I.A. It sounds like something M.I.A. exclaimed when seeing her child for the first time and they mistook it for a name.

23. Bronx Mowgli - Spawn of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. Bronx is okay. Mowgli, on the other hand, is a character from Jungle Book. Unless Ashlee plans to release her child into the wild (which might be a better environment than home), I probably would have come up with some a little more generic (you'd think she'd be used to generic, what with her music and all - too mean?)

24. Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg - Daughter of Soleil Moon-Frye and Joseph Goldberg. I'd just like to reiterate that this child is a GIRL. Jagger would be a sweet name for a boy though, in my opinion. But with mom's name, this kid should consider herself lucky, really.