You've got evil eyes

Lauren's dating dictionary:
Apparently the following phrases don't actually mean what you'd think. At least not when it comes to me.

"I just don't want a girlfriend right now."
Translated: "I don't want you as a girlfriend right now, or ever."

"I'll talk to you later."
Translated: "I'll talk to you never and keep the four movies you brought over to my house."

"Let's be friends."
Translated: "Let me look good by saying I want to make a 6 year friendship work but then actually start dating someone after saying I didn't want a girlfriend and never talk to you again."