My mother's shortcomings

"I'm obviously not a good mother. I haven't made you famous like the Kardashians."

Mom

When you see my face I hope it gives you Hell

Last night Ryan, Lucas and I went to see Macgruber. Honestly, the only thing I knew about the movie in advance (aside from a friend saying he liked it) was that the main character has a mullet.

So we arrive with a few moments to spare, get in line, and then the most ridiculous thing happens. I get ID'd. At the movies. I had been out to two different bars the night before and didn't get ID'd at either, but the lady selling movie tickets thought I was too young to see an R-rated movie.

The movie was actually hilarious. I liked it, which surprised me. Some stuff made me queasy, like the long sequence of trying to get a bullet out of Macgruber's leg, but overall it was just all laughs.

At first I was upset about the shirt sleeves, but now I'm okay

Carlye and I got back into our routine of watching The Office when we are supposed to be doing work (just in time for exam season). One episode in particular, Heavy Competition, was hilarious (well, they all are, really).

Michael: I color code all my info... Green means go. So I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means, 'orange you glad you didn't bring it up?' Most colors mean 'don't say it.'

Don't hate the playa, hate the game

The YouTube video I am about to show you was done by "DaxFlame" and is one of over 148 such videos. Each one as priceless as the next.

Maybe you shouldn't kiss and tell

If you like Texts From Last Night, which I obviously do, you'll probably also enjoy this website: The Foggy Monocle. I won't even bore you with an explanation of the website, just go read it, immediately.

Cum on over, cum on over babyyyy

l says:
bukkake party
M says:
yeah
the best kind
haha
l says:
haha
dirrty
M says:
after like
the 4th dude
itd be pretty messy
haha
l says:
haha
goo everywhere
and then it would dry
youd be like paper mache
M says:
hahahaha

Copying conversations from Facebook chat is the DEVIL

15:12D--
my biggest fear
HALIFAX
15:13Lauren
dun dun dunnnnn
terrifying
15:14D--
nemesis
buller
hate it
15:14Lauren
buller?
what dat
15:14D--
umm woops
bulltet is what i meant
15:14Lauren
oooh
bulltet
15:15Lauren
makes sense
15:15D--
bullet
15:15Lauren
haha
15:15D--
SHUT UP
15:15Lauren
i got it
NEVER
15:15D--
i am runing on no sleep
15:15Lauren
sass
15:15D--
and you are picking on me
15:15Lauren
i run on all sass
15:15D--
you run on penis
ALL penis
15:15Lauren
yes
penis is my fuel
15:15D--
hmmm at least your green
youre
15:16Lauren
haha
remember when you were younger
and you were 'green' if you hadnt done anything
15:16D--
ahaha yes?
ahaha yesssss i do
ur still green
15:16Lauren
yup
the greenest
15:17D--
ahaha if by that you mean the ungreenest
15:17Lauren
not even in the green family anymore
black maybe?
15:17D--
ahaha your white
15:17Lauren
haha
15:18D--
nooo black is the presence of all colours
15:18Lauren
right right
15:18D--
soo green would be in there
15:18Lauren
no green for this girl

We were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?

I found this moments ago, thanks to Livejournal (and a penchant for not doing what I am supposed to be doing - studying), and had to share it.

Soundtrack to the movie of my life (2004)

Opening credits: Lover I Don't Have To Love - Bright Eyes
Waking up scene: Mary Jane - The Vines
The low self esteem looking in the mirror after a shower scene: Creep - Radiohead
The try on entire closet in a matter of seconds scene: Boom Boom Boom - Jock Jams
Average day scene: Caring Is Creepy - The Shins
Best friend scene: Hollywood - Madonna
Getting drunk with best friend scene: Hoochie Mama - 2 Live Crew
Going unnoticed scene: El Scorcho - Weezer
Happy dance scene: Move Your Feet - Junior Senior
Wild reckless party scene: Lucky Star - Basement Jaxx
Morning after scene: Freakish - Saves the Day
Love at first sight scene: The Closest Thing - The Juliana Theory
First date scene: Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
Best sex of your life scene: Champagne From A Paper Cup - Death Cab For Cutie
Catch lover cheating scene: Still In Love Song - The Stills
Break up scene: Gone - Ben Folds
Casual sex scene: We Looked Like Giants - Death Cab For Cutie
Long night alone scene: Paperthin Hymn - Anberlin
Fight at home with parents scene: All Apologies - Nirvana
Mental breakdown scene: The Nobodies - Marilyn Manson
Suicide attempt scene: Hold On - Jet
Driving in the rain scene: Cinema Air - The Gloria Record
Deep thought scene: Konstantine - Something Corporate
Flashback scene: Meant To Live - Switchfoot
Regret scene: Fallen - Sarah Mclachlan
Change in lifestyle scene: Me and Mia - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Get back together scene: Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
"Life's okay" scene: The Future Freaks Me Out - Motion City Soundtrack
Death scene: Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
Closing credits: Wonderwall - Oasis

It is from the end of grade ten, I think. And it goes to show that I used to listen to some good and some really bad music - I am trying to suppress laughter at 2 Live Crew, I doubt the other students at the library will appreciate the humor. I should currently be listening to The Nobodies by Marilyn Manson, but again, doubtful that the other people around me would find that amusing.

Perhaps in later procrastination, I will make a new soundtrack. I can guarantee many different song choices, haha.