Where do you come up with these things?

It's human nature to enjoy the misfortune of others. The Germans even have a word fo it: shadenfreude. The English language uses it as a loanword because we really don't have anything better. Wikipedia tells me that "morose delectation" can be used as a substitute, but come on, doesn't shadenfreude just say it all for you?

What is my point? Surely I did not come here to give you all a lesson about words and their meanings and etymologies. You're right, I didn't. I came here to discuss a personal experience of shadenfreude.

I've spoken, and written, before about my crazy ex-roommate (CER) that I lived with last year. She was a real piece of work, as they say. To make a very long story short, she was a liar, thief, and called the cops on me Super Bowl Sunday '09 and accused me of assault (nothing ever came of this, see previously where I call her a liar).

It's not often that I see CER as we both like to keep our distance and pretend that neither exists to the other. I happen to like it this way. But occassionally, seeing as we have several mutual friends, we are forced to endure each other's presence.

Last night was one of those nights where I had to put up with seeing CER. Usually I just find it awkward, avoid her at all costs, and pretend she isn't there. It seems to be the most polite option, for real. But last night was different. It was that moment that you always hope for when you see someone from your past who has wronged you.

She had gained a lot of weight.

Not only that, but she was also wearing an extremely unflattering, tight, white dress. She looked like a jumbo-sized, lumpy toothpaste tube. It was a great moment of shadenfreude. I turned to my roommates (two of which also lived with CER), and mouthed the words: Moby Dick.

In case you didn't know, Moby Dick was a big white whale. That's right, I went there.