No wonder kids are obese

Watching the Montreal vs. Boston NHL game. During a break the announcers discuss how important hydration is... and cut to a player drinking a Coke.

My Kinesiology degree disapproves.

so THAT'S how it works

Maybe it's just me, but you seem finally happy

I had a really great weekend in Halifax. That being said, I'm not going to post about it because I want to keep it all to myself.

Also, Maybe It's Just Me (Butch Walker) is my new jam. Great break up tune.

Acronyms that need to take off

Reblogging from a new favorite: Date by Numbers

I am using these like it my new job;
BWA “Below Waist Activity.” BWA is a delicate way of referring to sexual activities involving the genitals. “Hey Roxanne, did you and Tim bone last night?” “No, but there was some BWA.”

SUB “Straight Up Babe.” A Straight Up Babe is a girl or guy who is unequivocally hot and attractive. "There were some SUBs at the bar last night."

Vote on May 2nd, even if it's based on hotness

Most people discuss politics in a conventional way, discussing platforms and which parties they like. Not J and I. We prefer to get down and dirty.

J: you're voting liberal are ya?
Me: what makes you say that?
J: haha well you were all hot for iggy a few years ago.
Me: hahahe is a hottie
we shall see
J: yeah well stephen is pretty hot too
Me: ugh
no no no
J: imagine what his sex life is like
Me: boring
J: his wife probably wears a mask of him.
Me: hahaha yes!
that makes it better
J: and he says, oh stephen. harder stephen.

Mother knows best

There are so many of these meme things that I have tried not to re-post them, but this one made me think of my mother and I couldn't resist.

My mother has lots of dating advice and the older I get, the more I realize she knows her shit. She likes to tell me, "If there's no ring, he's fair game."

Her other favorite piece of advice is, "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen."

Family Feud, you're so jaded

What stops after marriage?

"Fun."

"You seem so innocent..."

"I get that a lot."

But I'm not.

Why I never play 'I never' anymore

I started drinking in the tenth grade. Not early or late, by any means. And with drinking came the inevitable drinking games. "I never" was one of those games, and we played it all the time. If you think about it though, of course we did. We were young and shy and this game was revealing everything we wanted to know about other people but couldn't just come out and ask. At that point in time, very few of us had had sex. There were still some people who didn't drink for the question of oral sex. We were inexperienced and wildly curious. "I never" allowed us to ask what we wanted to ask without any shame.

Now that we're in our 20s and pretty much everyone has had sex and done a wide variety of other sexual acts, the game has lost its allure. At this point, whatever I'd find out would be so out there, I probably just don't want to know.

We're not 16 years old anymore. I think I'll stick to my favorite game, drink until I'm drunk.

I can't keep my hands off of you

I thought about it and I am going to share with you all my new secret weapon:

Dove Go Fresh Burst bodywash (nectarine and ginger)

Friends, acquaintances and, most importantly, boys have been commenting non-stop on how soft my skin feels.

Now I just need to woo them. Ha-hah!

Punk

"When I was a kid, there was someone in my family, an adult, and whenever I saw them, they would say, “You got a lotta nerve.” From the time I was a little kid, it was always like, “Heh, heh, heh — you got a lotta nerve.” I always thought, What does that mean? But then when I got older, I thought that it was an instruction. If you tell a kid something, it sticks. I think I do have a lot of nerve. But, I mean, I think I maybe got it from that person who said it to me."

Christopher Walken

I am in love with this song

Usually I'm not a fan of animated gifs, but...

it's SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE-G

Straight people have it so hard

"If you don’t like gay marriage blame straight people—-They are the ones that keep having gay babies."

Unknown

All we need is a good ribbing

"You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. ‘I believe God created me in one day.’ Yeah, looks like he rushed it."

Bill Hicks

It looks just like a Christmas tree

You can never exercise too much elevator etiquette.

I hate Angry Birds, but this is kind of amazing...

... although perhaps not from an eating standpoint. I prefer more cake, less marzipan.

:OOOOOOO

Apparently these are really popular in Japan right now. For a mere $185+ they can be yours.

My mother's shortcomings

"I'm obviously not a good mother. I haven't made you famous like the Kardashians."

Mom

Nightmares

IT'S A VAGINA WITH TEETH!

Or a penguin's mouth...

Clam slam pearl jam

Perfect for the lesbian honeymoon suite.

Summer is on its way, be prepared

For those of you who want to wear sandals this summer, but are afraid of losing your sock tan.

Drop it like it's not

Haligonians, beware.

There is bad ecstasy afoot.

Thank you Dalhousie Security for informing the masses.

Skim milk, fat, you're not

Remember when Napoleon Dynamite was all the rage and everyone quoted it non-stop and thought it was hilarious?

yeah, it's on tv right now. I don't think it's been long enough for it to make a comeback already.

If I were older, male, and a bit more jaded, this could have been me:

http://www.intimidatinguncle.com/

Just a guy making fun of kids in photos. I kind of love it.

Bitch is the bomb

Amy Poehler, I love you so much.

"They’re fucking gross, man. Look, I love beautiful girls too. I think everyone should be free to have their knee socks and their sweaty shorts, but I’m over it. I’m over this weird, exhausted girl. I’m over the girl that’s tired and freezing and hungry. I like bossy girls, I always have. I like people filled with life. I’m over this weird media thing with all this, like, hollow-eyed, empty, party crap."
-Poehler on American Apparel

I've always wondered what the fuck about American Apparel ads. Seriously, what the fuck?

How come everything awesome wasn't made by me?

Love this website: http://betterbooktitles.com

My favorite PSAs and other things that aren't true

"Remember kids, only rain in the storm drain."

All the small things

"I think anyone that would call me a “wigger” or a “tweaker” or something worse—those people are Nazis. Just because of skin color you’re going to insult someone for playing hip-hop or country music? It’s weird to me. I think the days of labeling people and calling them names based on the music they listen to are long gone. If people are still thinking like that, it’s so ignorant that I can’t even entertain it for a minute."

Travis Barker

DUDE

Hipster Arrested Development posted my submission - I'm almost Internet famous!

There's always money IN the banana stand

www.hipsterarresteddevelopment.tumblr.com

Don't dream it's over

Just like that, the dream's alive again.

That's why I wrote this song to sing

Occasionally I break down and allow myself to post crap like this:

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
keeping the beat
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
love machine girls
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
minute baby minute
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
you make the rain fall
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
my propeller
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
just a dream
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
steady shock
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
i'm not important to you
WHAT IS 2+2?
give and go
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
boneyard
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
yesterday never tomorrows
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
home
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
butterfly
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
backstabber
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
she's hearing voices
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
brighter at night
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
he won't go
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
still take you home
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
a certain romance
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
gifted
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
triphallus, to punctuate!
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
sunday
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
rumour has it
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
shine blockas
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
hey floyd
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
sun is almost down
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
on melancholy hill
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
mind eraser
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
up from below
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
girl sailor

If you feel like letting go

Sometimes all you need is something to believe in. Actually, I think all you ever need is something to believe in. That hope, that blind faith, it can give you something to hold on to when times are tough or you've lost your way. We all need something to hold on to.