TFLN: the personal archive

z- want to crash bros night?
l- um, let me think... yes!
z- lloyd will not be happy
l- i am such a bro!
z- this is true
l- more bro, less ho
z- you can still be a ho, haha
l- k good, cause this bro is a ho fo sho

Do you know John from Canada? No? I thought you guys were all like neighbors

m says:
what are you up to tonight
l says:
prob watch the womens gold medal game
what about you??
m says:
jakcs trying to convince me to go out again
l says:
haha
please tell me you were loaded last night hjaha
calling me at 4:30 AM!
m says:
i saw someone who said they were from pei i had to see if you knew them, turn out they were born there but moved away when thy were like 1
l says:
hahaha
you are ridiculous
m says:
i may have had a few drinks up to that point
l says:
haha
mayyyy
like, it was life or death to see if i knew them
m says:
at the time yes
the funniest part is i dont really know what would have changed if you knew them
l says:
hahaha
yeah really
like, yes i do know that person
okay cool
bye

Gay Doc up in the house

Today is the third time I have heard about this fascinating drink called the Flaming Dr. Pepper. I am taking this as a sign that this is going to be my drink. God is whispering in my ear, Lauren, this is for YOU. Doesn't hurt that I actually like Dr. Pepper, the soda pop.

Recipe:
3/4 shot amaretto almond liqueur
1/4 oz 151 proof rum
1/2 glass beer

1. Fill a shot glass about 3/4 full with amaretto and top it off with enough 151 proof rum to be able to burn.
2. Place the shot glass in another glass and fill the outer glass with beer (right up to the level of the shot glass).
3. Ignite the amaretto/151 and let it burn for a while. Blow it out (or leave it burning if you're brave - not recommended) and slam it.

Apparently you can also do it without the 151 (it won't light on fire without it though) for the same great taste and no homo.

I went to the hockey game in my Alexander McQueen stilettos

I was doing so well! I was so close to making it through the entire Olympics without seeing Tanya Kim, Jeanne Beker, Leah Miller, and Ben Mulroney. I had been doing so well I was actually a gold medal hopeful for evasion of annoying TV personalities. I think I may still be in contention for a silver or a bronze though.

All joking aside, I really wish CTV hadn't brought them along for the ride. Beker's fashion interviews are an insult to the time, dedication, and talent of these Olympians. Leah Miller seems to be the only one out of the awful foursome that knows anything about hockey, which has slightly redeemed her in my eyes. She is the best looking of the four as well.

But come on CTV! Why? I would much rather watch interviews like the one I am watching right now with Sidney Crosby's family. Sure, it's kind of pointless drivel, but it's better than finding out what Maelle Ricker thinks about fashion (which, by the way, is not much - she got majorly cornered by Beker).

What I will give CTV props for, though, is the clips they have with the physiologist explaining the impact of the various sports on the athletes' bodies. I may be biased as a Kine student, but I think that that is a great addition to the Games.

Knock it off

You know what kind of drives me nuts? When people can't figure out the difference (in spelling, not meaning) of angle and angel. I see so many photo comments where people say "oh you look like such an angle!" Really? What degree? Would that be ninety? Are you calling me a loser? And Christmas songs would be a bit weird; Hark the Herald angles sing...

It might be a case of typing too fast. Happens to the best of us. But it wouldn't hurt to proof-read before submitting.

With glowing hearts

Canada had such a great day at the Olympics today, winning four medals (1 gold, 2 silver, 1 bronze) and defeating Russia (and Ovechkin) in the hockey game. It was a great day to be a Canadian. And an Islander. Congratulations go out to Heather (who will never read this) on her gold medal in women's bobsleigh. Really nothing else to say, needed a patriotic post after all the phenomenal performances today.

Your help just hurts

Relationships and milk should never have anything in common. You don't go into a relationship and say, as of "this day" I am going to be done, and then go and get this branded on you. Just like, you don't go looking for a carton of milk that is going to last you forever and never go bad. Well, maybe some people do, but it's unobtainable, so give it up already. But my point, hidden amongst bad milk analogies, is that I don't see the point of entering a relationship when it has an "expiry date" so to speak. If you can see the end before the beginning, I say run in the opposite direction. I say run until you find someone who is willing to have a relationship with you without branding some arbitrary date on you. Relationships are about finding someone you want to spend time with and someone you can grow with as a person. If you find a relationship like that, you won't be looking for an end. That's what I want.

I don't want to be someone's carton of milk.

I don't write rhymes 'cause I ain't got time

l says:
i just don't want you to feel like you're missing out on something
d says:
babe, i have been missing out on everythign i have wanted for the last six fucking years, there is no more missing out
l says:
okay
i really wish you were here right now
d says:
yea, that might have been the most romantic thing i have said
l says:
it was very good, i agree
d says:
it was like one of those notebook moments where ya just wanna bang after ya say it
l says:
haha
put that into our movie screenplay
d says:
ahaha done
l says:
it'll be like the notebook, but better
and maybe we can avoid the whole alzheimers/death part
d says:
hmmm, yea, i am thinkin by like 2050, they will have found somethign that keeps us alive
l says:
and young and sexy
d says:
you could be a wrinkly old fart, i'd still do ya
l says:
awwww
look at you with all the romantic lines
d says:
oh shut it

All my stripper friends, all my ex-boyfriends

I end up on really random blogs in the same way people end up on really random Wikipedia pages. This particular blog had me laughing out loud. Read this post for a taste of what they are all about. I mean, even the name is clever: Two Friends, One Blog (I know it's old, but please tell me you people remember Two Girls, One Cup). But yeah, anyone who discusses troll dolls is okay in my books.

You're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind

I would like to add Meghan Agosta to my list of Canadian female Olympic athlete crushes. She has a total of 12 goals scored in 2 Olympics (2006 & 2010), 9 goals in this Olympics alone (a record), and a gold medal (2006). She's also adorable.
And also, Ashleigh McIvor, the gold medallist in women's ski cross. OOh baby. Seriously, McIvor and Virtue are probably tied for HOTTEST female Canadian Olympians.

Our hearts on our sleeves

Please someone try and tell me that Tessa Virtue is not the cutest girl in the world. What a stunning girl, with grace and unbelievable talent to back it up. I also have a bit of a crush on Marianne St-Gelais and Maelle Ricker. Canada produces adorable female athletes. And medallists to boot!

Virtue and Moir met when they were 7 and 9 years old, respectively. And now they're the first gold medallists from North America in ice dancing, as well as the youngest. Amazing.

Don't stop, make it pop

I love Lady Gaga, I do. I find her interesting, well-spoken, and absurd. She is a breath of fresh air in the music industry. She even has strong beliefs and advocates for LGBT rights. Plus, you know you've made it when my Dad is a big fan. True story.

That being said, I have a problem with the Gaga. What could my issue with the Lady possibly be? Her lyrics. Not all of them, but some. And it's not just Lady Gaga. Ke$ha is possibly the biggest culprit when it comes to female artists degrading themselves (and women in general) in their lyrics. I'm all for equality, but just because men sing/rap songs about all the "tail" they be "hitting" doesn't mean that women need to follow suit. Call it a double standard, I don't think either sex should be singing this crap.

Ke$ha actually has a song where she says this: "Turn around boy and let me hit that. Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat, just show me where your dicks at." What the fuck? Gaga, in Pokerface, says she's "bluffin' with [her] muffin". Basically, she's being a tease. Or how about "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick, don't think too much just bust that dick"? It creeps me out listening to young kids singing these songs. These lyrics aren't empowering or feminist. They're slutty at best, misogynistic at worst.

It's like the words slut, bitch, and skank (and many others). We don't want (nor do we tolerate) guys calling us these words, so why do we use them? It's the same thing with these lyrics, except instead of just saying "slut", we've got a catchy song that 8 year olds are singing and then trying to emulate artists like Ke$ha. My Mom's grade 3 students are always asking her "what Lady Gaga means when she says this". If I ever have kids, I don't want them to know what a disco stick is.

Ever. But at least not until they're in high school.

Raise your glass or lower your standards

I'm starting to look forward to work this summer. My boss has been emailing me staffing ideas and getting me to look over final reports for ideas in the spring. I'll be heading to Halifax in my first or second week for a meeting, like a boss. It's going to be a good summer, regardless of where I am going to be in the fall.

Which is something I am not looking forward to but also not dreading. I feel like I am in limbo on that one. It's hard to get excited when I don't know if I've been accepted or rejected. Especially when accepted means Hamilton, ON or Halifax, NS, and rejected can mean anything (likely Halifax, NS as well though). Rejected also means finding a job. Ugh. Although accepted means getting a student loan. Oh the possibilities.

But yes, back to the summer. It is really shaping up to be a good one. Morgan, the love of my life, will be back on this beautiful red soil. I will be working downtown once more, but as a boss-lady this time. Two words: Island beaches. I'll have my graduation in there, and that probably doesn't seem that exciting, but after four years I am so looking forward to every second that accompanies walking across that stage. My champagne birthday (or champion, as my mom calls it) is in June. Fishbones will be open, as well as the rest of Vic Row. There is just so much to look forward to. This is bringing a smile to my face.

Shake your groove thing baby

One of the best things about coming home, aside from seeing family & friends, is looking through the files on the family computer. We still have everything that was on our original computer, which we got in 2000. The iTunes alone is like a terrifying musical reunion of past and present, good and bad. I've been going through it for fun, and so far have found such gems as The Used, Heart, Relient K, Savage Garden, Social Impact, Blink 182, and Dashboard Confessional. As if that wasn't nostalgic enough, I've also found awful, awful poetry from grade seven and different class assignments that are just so poorly written it makes me cringe.

Oh baby, Strawberry Wine just came up on shuffle. Excuse me while I rock out.

Lauren's guide to the dance floor

Last night we went to Pacifico for Alicia's birthday. The dance floor was decently crowded, but enough that you really didn't have to touch anyone else (unless that's what you were there for, which some people definitely were). I was dancing with a few of my friends when a hippo started thrashing around behind Carlye. Carlye was getting thrown around. That's where I came in. I switched spots with Carlye and started to dance wildly, throwing elbows and my butt into the hippo. I was literally bouncing off her large backside and flying forward. Eventually my pointy little elbows did the trick though, and we all danced happily until the next hippo came along.

Eh Oh Canada Go

I'll be perfectly honest, I'm not a Sidney Crosby fan and I never have been. I don't even really have a concrete reason for not liking him. I don't think he should have been given the "C" for the Penguins, but that is hardly his fault. I do recognize that he is talented though, really I do.


My love for Canada, however, trumps any dislike for Crosby that I feel. Thus far though, I've been rather disappointed with his lackluster performance at the Olympics. I even tweeted tonight, after he missed his first shot in the shoot out, that I hoped Crosby would "do something at the Olympics sometime soon". It was moments later (if you watched the game you know) that Crosby took a second shot, scored, and won the game for Canada.

Nice work Sid the Kid.

Go now, you are forgiven

Studying for my exam has degenerated into me typing terms into Google and clicking on the appropriate Wikipedia link.

In half an hour I will see if this method has any value to it.

Can we just fast forward the next two months? I have my grad ring, do I really need to continue this schooling charade?

Guess who I am? Who? A Who! Who? A Who! I'm sorry, who?

How did Taylor Momsen go from Cindy Lou-Who to this fucking babe?

I'm not gonna write you a love song 'cause you asked for it, 'cause you need one

I’m gonna throw this heart away, ‘cause I don’t need it anymore
I’m gonna hide this love I have, ‘til you're walking through that door
The hurt is just too much for me alone to bear
I never want to be here when I know you’re over there

My heart it is still beating, though barely it is true
I think that it is waiting ‘til it can be near you
And our love will never conquer what our love will never know
I wonder if we’ll ever get to let our true love show

I may not want to say it
‘Cause aloud it makes it true
But from that first moment
All I’ve wanted is to be with you

We are always in the wrong place and it’s never the right time
You were always with her and I had someone I called mine
I can lie and say I didn’t, but I've always wanted you
I may have tried to hide it, but my heart knew what was true

My head just wants to put these thoughts somewhere that I won’t find
I’m pushing all my thoughts of you to the outskirts of my mind
My heart, it cannot miss what it no longer knows
But this feeling of emptiness, it just grows and grows and grows

I may not want to say it
‘Cause aloud it makes it true
But from that first moment
All I’ve wanted is to be with you

My heart it still is beating, even if it has turned to blue
I can still remember the days it beat bright red for you
And it will keep on beating, to keep track of the time
It will keep on counting down the days until you’re mine

I may not want to say it
‘Cause aloud it makes it true
But from that first moment
All I’ve wanted is to be with you

There's a funeral procession on the highway

Ever since hearing the song Save Your Scissors by City and Colour, I was against them and anything they had to offer. I made a quick judgment based on that one song and the fact that it was played every goddamn day. Until recently, I had still never heard any other song by the band and was sure I didn't want to.

Then someone I know and like introduced me to this song, by playing it for me:


If that song doesn't do it for you, then I would also recommend Body in a Box (it even features the harmonica).

I still stand behind my decision that Save Your Scissors isn't a good song. You can agree or disagree, it makes no nevermind to me. But I can no longer say that City and Colour never came up with anything worth listening to.

I was wrong. I admit it.

And while we're being honest, if anyone wanted to sing The Girl to me, I wouldn't oppose.

If these people just donated money instead of their voices, Haiti would be saved

My friend Connor brought this video to my attention today:

I knew it existed, I swear. I have even seen and heard the original lots of times. But I had yet to watch this Haiti-inspired video.

I knew it was going to be a wonderful experience as soon as Jamie Foxx was the one introducing it. This was confirmed when the first artist I saw was Justin Bieber. The more I watched, the more it captivated me. How did they select this set of artists? It seems like producers Jones and Richie created a Facebook event and didn't turn anyone away.

I can just see it:
SUBJECT: Come on out and sing for Haiti guyzzzzz
MESSAGE: Hey guyz, as u may or may not kno, Haiti got hit by an earthquake!!!! its okay if u dont kno where Haiti is, u just need to kno that ppl care and ull look rly good if you come out and donate ur time. so any artists who arent busy with actual projects and careers should like totally come out and help. u even get to be in a music vid. u dont get paid obvi, but trust me ppl will love u even more than they already do.

Seriously, the video showcases the likes of Lil Wayne (auto tune and all), T-Pain, Nicole (lead Pussycat Doll), Randy Jackson, Pink, and even, wait for it, my favorite addition: Vince Vaughn two-stepping in the background (check for it around 6:55).

I especially like the rap breakdown near the end. LL Cool J, Snoop Dogg, Wyclef... just awe-inspiring really.

The Jonas brothers and Miley Cyrus are in there somewhere too. There's something awful for all ages.

They even had the audacity to unearth Michael Jackson, attach him to strings, and get him to perform as a marionnette for the song.*

Don't get me wrong, I respect that these artists gave their time and celebrity status to raise money for Haiti, I just can't get over who is in the video. It's like the Grammys threw up.

On an unrelated note, Kanye West looks like he got lost in Avril Lavigne's closet. Punk-rock plaid with studs is so 2005.

*For the record, I realize it's footage from the original We Are The World. I made this joke earlier and my friend actually thought I was clueless.

You're my idea of a lady

The Olympics love a good montage and so do I. This got me thinking, if my last year of university were to be a montage, what would it look like? First semester would be clips of lacrosse games, flip cup tournaments, and puking Saturdays and Sundays. It's a pretty accurate depiction of four months of my life. Throw in a few clips of the team winning the Telus cup and Fall semester is complete. This semester is slightly less montage worthy, but it still has some highlights. Mainly drunk texts, drunken dance parties, and my trip to Fredericton.

You weren't expecting an academic montage were you? Sorry Mom and Dad.

He liked it so he put a ring on it

The other day I wrote a post about how gleefully happy I was at the misfortune of another (in this case, my crazy ex-roommate). Today I would like to counter that with a post about how unbelievably happy I am for a friend. She just got engaged! I honestly cannot think of a better, happier couple, so I am extremely happy for the pair of them. I honestly have warm-fuzzies in my tummy thinking about it.

Perhaps I should go get that checked out, hmm?

Stop being such a McDick-wad

You may or may not remember a while back I posted a "soundtrack to my life 2009". I'm not sure how much you all take from my blog. Either way, I made a post and listed Amanda Blank's song Make It Take It as the "try on entire closet in a matter of seconds scene" song. Today I heard it on a Mcdonald's commercial. Is nothing sacred?

There's an app. for that

Anyone know what love, lovers, happy marriages, engaged couples, and plagues have in common?

No? Really?

That's alright, I had no idea until I decided to look St. Valentine up a little while ago. Turns out he is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plagues, travellers, and young people.

How does one get to be the Patron Saint for such a wide variety of things? All the lovey ones make sense, based on our typical views of Valentine's Day. But bee keepers? Epilepsy? Faintings?

I guess everyone needs a Saint.

Do not waste this evening, Baby, I'm begging you

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no way

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here oh yeah

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

Where do you come up with these things?

It's human nature to enjoy the misfortune of others. The Germans even have a word fo it: shadenfreude. The English language uses it as a loanword because we really don't have anything better. Wikipedia tells me that "morose delectation" can be used as a substitute, but come on, doesn't shadenfreude just say it all for you?

What is my point? Surely I did not come here to give you all a lesson about words and their meanings and etymologies. You're right, I didn't. I came here to discuss a personal experience of shadenfreude.

I've spoken, and written, before about my crazy ex-roommate (CER) that I lived with last year. She was a real piece of work, as they say. To make a very long story short, she was a liar, thief, and called the cops on me Super Bowl Sunday '09 and accused me of assault (nothing ever came of this, see previously where I call her a liar).

It's not often that I see CER as we both like to keep our distance and pretend that neither exists to the other. I happen to like it this way. But occassionally, seeing as we have several mutual friends, we are forced to endure each other's presence.

Last night was one of those nights where I had to put up with seeing CER. Usually I just find it awkward, avoid her at all costs, and pretend she isn't there. It seems to be the most polite option, for real. But last night was different. It was that moment that you always hope for when you see someone from your past who has wronged you.

She had gained a lot of weight.

Not only that, but she was also wearing an extremely unflattering, tight, white dress. She looked like a jumbo-sized, lumpy toothpaste tube. It was a great moment of shadenfreude. I turned to my roommates (two of which also lived with CER), and mouthed the words: Moby Dick.

In case you didn't know, Moby Dick was a big white whale. That's right, I went there.

Rah rah, zza zza zzaaaa

I went to the Grawood last night with the intention of maybe having a beer or two, no more. I got all dressed up in my Grawood-best, put on my new headband, and set out with Carlye and Neil. My plan was already altered basically the moment I walked in to the bar. With cover ($5 going to Habitat for Humanity), I got a free Rev. I don't really care for them, but it was free. Once that was finished, I went up to the bar to buy Carlye and I a yard to share. I ran into my friend Justin at the bar and he insisted that he was going to pay for the yard because I "deserve something nice for Valentine's Day". He's a sweetheart. Once that was all done, I went up to buy a drink (obviously the plan to not drink by the wayside), but again I was stopped. Justin's roommate insisted on doing shots. We did two: crispy crunch and a pornstar. And that is the story of how I got loaded accidentally last night. And why I love Valentine's Day, haha.

Rah Rah, Oh la la

My attempt at being the Lady:
Hahaha.

You can tell it's midterm season

It’s hard enough to talk when it’s in T9
I’m pouring out my heart to you line by line
Waiting on your answer, hopin’ for a sign
Girl, I’ve never seen someone so damn fine

One hundred and forty characters or less
Not a lot of space for me to confess
You’re all I think about, more or less
Will you be mine, baby, please say yes

I’m lighting up your phone, but there’s no reply
Demand’s there but you’re not giving me supply
Girl, you won’t find someone who’s more fly
But I can take a hint, so baby bye, bye, bye

Now that I’m not texting, the tables have turned
My phone’s lit up, but no messages returned
It’s a little late, that bridge has been burned
You want some of this, it’s got to be earned

Bad to the bone

After making my anti-Valentine list, I was in a list making mood. I decided to compile a list of my favorite movie villains. The only real requirement for the list was that I had to have seen the movie. I've even tried to order the villains, which was extremely difficult, but I think I did a pretty good job. So, without further ado, my favorite villains of the cinema.

25. Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) – The Matrix series
Not only can Smith become any human avatar in the Matrix, but he can also bend the rules of the Matrix (gravity, limitations of the human body, etc.) and communicate instantaneously with all other agents in the Matrix. A bit of a triple threat, if you will.

24. The Shark – Jaws
Okay, so the shark may not have any dialogue, but he still strikes fear into my heart. And dialogue or not, John Williams's music is a terrifyingly ominous addition to the "character". I'm just glad Prince Edward Island beaches aren't known for their sharks, or this movie may have ruined summers for me.

23. Col. Hans Landa (Christopher Waltz) – Inglorious Basterds
Not necessarily your typical villain, although he is a Nazi, making him easily detestable. What I mean is, short of being a Nazi, he's small and kind of laughable. The only person he actually hurts in the movie (instead of getting his henchmen to do it) is a woman. What does that tell you? He is an evil little man though, and he got what he deserved (thank you Brad Pitt).

22. Chucky (Brad Dourif) – Child’s Play series
Chucky may be a doll, but fuck he is a creepy one. I remember seeing this movie when I was a kid and I definitely had trouble sleeping after watching it.

21. Gollum (Andy Serkis) – Lord of the Rings series
Gollum is not a typical villain at all. You even end up feeling sorry for the little guy by the end of things. The ring's power over the once-hobbit really does a number on him, making him more than a little dangerous. You can't tell me he didn't creepy you out when you first saw him, even if he is pathetic.

20. Pennywise (Tim Curry) – It
If anyone ever wants to know why people dislike clowns and find them creepy, tell them to watch this movie.

19. Headless Horseman (Christopher Walken) – Sleepy Hollow
Christopher Walken is honestly one of the creepiest looking actors I have ever seen.

18. Harry Walters (Ralph Fiennes) – In Bruges
The funny thing about In Bruges is that technically all the characters are villains. I mean, they're all hitmen. But Harry Walters, the boss, ends up being the movie's villain. You have to admire his dedication to his principles though, even if he was mistaken.

17. Maleficent (Eleanor Audley) – Sleeping Beauty
You may laugh that a cartoon villain made it to #17 on my list, but let me tell you, my mother used to read me this story every night (upon my request) when I was about 4-5 years old, and it would give me nightmares every single time. Now that I'm older, the movie doesn't have that effect, but Maleficent is still a favorite. Especially when she turns into a dragon.

16. Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe) – Goldfinger (James Bond film)
I'm not sure what it is about Goldfinger that I like so much, but it doesn't hurt his case that he is the villain in my favorite Bond film. It's also pretty badass that a girl gets killed by being covered in gold body paint (dying from epidermal suffocation).

15. Regan MacNeil/Satan (Linda Blair) – The Exorcist
Regan gets possessed by chatting with "Captain Howdy" on her Ouiji board. This film is a horror classic. I can honestly say, one of the creepiest things I've ever seen is Regan spider-walking down the stairs (sadly it's cut from the somewhat recent re-release). I can't watch this film in a house alone, it's just too much.

14. Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) – Harry Potter series
Voldemort's a pretty typical villain. I love that Fiennes plays him.

13. Samara Morgan (Daveigh Chase) – The Ring
When Samara comes out of the TV it really scares me. A lot.

12. Bill the Butcher (Daniel Day-Lewis) – Gangs of New York
Daniel Day-Lewis does an awesome job playing the Butcher in this movie. You just love to hate him.

11. Leatherface (Gunnar Hansen) – Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
A good old fashioned horror movie with a chainsaw wielding nutcase, what more could you ask for?

10. Captain Vidal (Sergi Lopez) – Pan’s Labyrinth
An example of Vidal's evil can be seen when he brutally executes two farmers for supposedly aiding the rebel cause. After they are killed, he discovers they were innocent. Instead of taking responsibility, he blames his men. Really stand up guy.

9. The Joker (Heath Ledger) – The Dark Knight
Definitely Ledger's best cinematic performance. He truly embodied the Joker and really lived the role.

8. Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) – The Shining
I've read the book and seen the movie. This is Jack Nicholson in his prime. The part where he takes an axe to the bathroom door? Gives me the willies.

7. Tommy Devito (Joe Pesci) – Goodfellas
Crazy man with a very short fuse. Wouldn't want to be on his bad side.

6. Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) – No Country for Old Men
Great movie, great villain. And what a sadistic choice of weapon.

5. Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) - Psycho
Truly creepy and definitely some mommy issues in the mix.

4. John Doe (Kevin Spacey) – Se7en
Spacey's character kills using the seven deadly sins as inspiration. The lust murder was extremely hard to watch. Not that any of them were particularly pleasant.

3. Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) – American Psycho
I can't even explain how good this movie is and how great Bale does playing this character.

2. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) – The Silence of the Lambs
As far as villains go, Hannibal Lecter is one of the most recognizeable ones. He is extremely smart and cunning. Plus, he eats people. Gross.

1. Darth Vader (David Prowse & James Earl Jones) – Star Wars
Possibly the most iconic and wellknown villain of all time. Vader is extremely powerful, ruthless, and not somebody you want to mess with. He also has his own theme song, The Imperial March (John Williams). Easily my favorite villain.

How could you be so heartless?

This will be the first Valentine's Day that I spend without a significant other since my last year of high school. I don't embody hegemonic femininity, so I am quite content to go without a Valentine this year. I'm not pathetic enough to hate the holiday entirely, just because I am alone, but in light of the situation, I've decided to compile some anti-V-day songs.

1. Bitches Ain't Shit by Easy E
Nothing says happy Valentine's day to your loved one like telling her she "ain't shit" and that you want her to "lick on [your] nuts and suck [your] dick". Or perhaps you are just letting her know what you want for Valentine's day. It's like a musical version of leaving little post-it note hints around the house.

2. Perfectly Lonely by John Mayer
John Mayer is a master of writing love songs, but this song is all about being happy and free alone. It's an anthem for the singles; "'Cause I don't belong to anyone and nobody belongs to me...that's the way, that's the way, that's the way that I want it." And let's face it, Mayer is notorious for being a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of guy.

3. You're Not Sorry by Taylor Swift
It wouldn't be a anti-Valentine's day list without an angry teenage girl singing about love lost. Seriously, enough said, not a big Swift fan.

4. Tired of Sex by Weezer
By the sounds of the song, Rivers is mackin' a different girl every night of the week. While this may garner a high-five from his pals (if he has any), it's not really a quality I look for in a valentine.

5. Heartless by Kanye West
No one likes being played by their significant other, but doesn't it give you slight shadenfreude that Kanye West was on the receiving end of this one? Even so, it's a pretty good break-up jam, which makes it an appropriate addition to this list.

6. Song for the Dumped by Ben Folds Five
I'm pretty sure that most people have heard this song, but if not, you can check it out and look forward to hearing Ben Folds yell "Fuck you too!" to an (his?) ex-girlfriend. If there is an ex in your past that really wronged you, you may find singing along to this song therapeutic.

7. Don't Think Twice It's Alright by Bob Dylan
Before I begin, Metric does a great cover of this song.
Basically, Dylan sings (or mutters) about a woman he once loved. The charm of the song is how dismissive Dylan is, telling the woman that she "just kinda wasted my precious time" but that she shouldn't "think twice, it's alright". That's right Bob, goodbye is too good a word for this stupid slut.

8. The Warning by Eminem / Obsessed by Mariah Carey
While neither song is really award-worthy, it is hilarious to listen to both (and in Mariah's case watch the music video). This is a great example of when love goes wrong between two people who have access to mass media. What's up to you is who the winner is: Mariah, Eminem, or Nick? Can I say my vote goes to the angry white male? Anyone who is willing to say he ejaculates prematurely in an effort to diss an ex-girlfriend means serious business.

9. Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back) by Eamon
Remember Eamon? I do, barely. But you can't tell me that a song with this title doesn't deserve to be on the list. Eamon's gal played him and "even gave [some guy] head". Well fuck all those presents you could have had for V-day girl, he don't want you back.

10. You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette
They don't get much more bitter than Ms. Morissette. She really isn't ready to let go. Watch out Scarlett, Alanis might decide she's not over Ryan yet. Get ready for an abundance of voicemails, half of which will be purely Alanis wailing and the other which will be the drunken and angry slurring of the lyrics to this particular song. Romantic.

11. Everything About You by Ugly Kid Joe
I'll be honest, I've never actually heard this song, but after doing some light research on this topic, several websites listed it as the #1 anti-love song. This isn't surprising when the lyrics says that not only does the author hate everything about the person, but also their mother, father, and sister. Leave my mama out of this, dude. That's a low blow.

12. Cry Me A River by Justin Timberlake
There was something magical about watching two little Mousekeeters fall in love in the spotlight. And then there was something even more captivating about watching it derail in front of our very eyes; kind of like watching a train wreck and not being able to look away. I'm not really sure if Timberlake every admitted the song is about ex Britney Spears, but come on. At least he has the good fortune of hindsight and knowing that K-Fed took the fall instead of him. Bet he's counting his blessings. I also recommend checking out the SNL skit Timberlake did, called Immigrant Tale, where he admits to having sex with Spears while they were dating (even though she claimed to be a virgin). A liar and a whore, imagine.

13. I Hate Myself For Loving You by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Nothing new about a song about the self-loathing aspects of love, I'm just impressed Jett manages to sound both pathetic and assertive. Although, more often than not, just pathetic.

14. Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Presley
As if the title doesn't say enough. Also, mystery solved: Elvis didn't die from a drug overdose, he died of loneliness.

15. Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood
As much as I don't really care for country music, could it really be an anti-love list without a country song? Everyone knows that country songs fall into four categories: songs about pick-up trucks, songs about love or love lost, songs about a man's dog, and song's about any variation of the above. Before He Cheats falls into the last category (pick-up truck and love lost). Everyone also knows a country man's identity is wrapped up in his pick-up truck (and cowboy hat, of course), and that's the first thing that Underwood attacks. I bet that guy is sitting on his porch with some whiskey and his dog, crying into a hankerchief. Do I sense a new song in the works?

Bless your soul, you really think you're in control

I wonder if it is a requirement for scam ads to have spelling errors? I find there is always at least one in every scam I see.

Who says I can't get stoned, plan a trip to Japan alone?

I have a love-hate relationship with profanities. On the one hand, I often think their use denotes decreased intelligence. I happen to think if you cannot express yourself without the use of curse words, you need to pick up a book and broaden your vocabulary. On the other hand, a well-placed curse, like a photograph, can be worth a thousand words. I also find it impressive that they are so versatile; swear words more often than not can act as noun, verb, adjective, abverb, whatever you need. Words may be inert, but you cannot tell me that saying "fudge" when you stub your toe can even compare to how much better it feels to yell out "FUCK".

On top of all of that, the forbideness of profanities in childhood only makes them that much more attractive. If someone tells you not to say something, aren't you that much more excited to do it? I remember the first time I said the "f-word". I was in music class, sitting in the back, next to a few boys that would have been classified as trouble-makers (and certainly bad influences). They dared me to say "fuck", and after a little resistance, I gave in. It felt so liberating. Since then I haven't looked back. But, like I said earlier, I think profanities need to be used properly so as not to make others think you can't form a sentence or thought without them. Just like a lot of things, less is more.

Shawty's like a melody in my head that I can't keep out, got me singing like nah nah nah nah everyday, like my iPod stuck on replay

I had an unbelievable weekend in Fredericton with David and his roommates. UNB campus is beautiful. All of my memories of Fredericton being a hell hole from when I was little were wrong, it's actually a pretty nice city. I got in on Friday around 2 pm, went back to David's and napped while his band practiced. Friday night we went to a coffee house fundraiser for Cancer. David did an acoustic set for it. Saturday I hung around the apartment with Dave's roommates while he practiced with his band again. I watched Adam do his P90X workout. Intense stuff. Dave's band played at the Cellar Saturday night and filled the place. It was so much fun. I met a ton of the guys' friends and just had a blast. We danced all night. Sunday was slow, stayed in bed for years, and watched the Super Bowl. We hit up a bar afterwards called Nicky Zee's. Pretty sketch little bar, haha. Monday my hangover got the better of me and gravol saved me for the bus ride back. Amazing weekend.

I want to be awake when I'm asleep

I definitely do not think that I act or look like the most mature person my age (21 years), but I also don't think that I look like an underage child. Carlye (my 23 year old roommate) and I got ID'd THREE times tonight at the Pogue. THREE times. And it wasn't like the inspector was there, three different bouncers asked to see my ID. Excessive!

I saw you headed for a fall, I was the one that made the call

Alicia and I went to see Leap Year tonight, starring Amy Adams and some hot Irish-man. Better than expected, not great cinema. That about sums it up. A few great laughs along the way. One laugh was even unrelated to the movie entirely. Alicia and I were alone in the theatre, except for one couple, and they decided to make out for most of the movie. And not quietly, I might add. I would have somewhat understood if they were teenagers, but they were obviously pushing thirty-plus. I know it was a romantic comedy, but at no point was I so enamoured with the movie that I felt the need to stick my tongue down Alicia's throat. I imagine more people would have shown up to view that though (the theatre must have lost a lot of money showing a movie to 4 people - especially since Alicia and I had coupons for free tickets).

You'd think me rude, but I would just stand and stare

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
peak out
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
gravity
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
up up & away
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
fixin' to thrill
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
this is not an exit
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
primitive man
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
better together
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
split needles
WHAT IS 2+2?
your algebra
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
australia
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
who says
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
perfectly lonely
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
positive tension
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
smash your head
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
best i ever had
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
unnatural selection
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
amazing
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
not myself
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
uprising
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
clarity
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
down
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
distance
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
don't vote
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
maneater
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
home life
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
at your funeral
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
falling for you
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
no other one
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
secret door
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
murder

There's not really much left to talk about 'cause there's no more us

My sociology professor was in Toronto this week for a conference, so in lieu of a 3 hour class we watched Boys Don't Cry today (starring Hilary Swank as Brandon Teena - or Teena Brandon depending on how you look at it). The movie is based on a true story, obviously, and it was pretty clear how it was going to turn out. I wasn't surprised, but it was still extremely sad. Kind of like when the Titanic goes does in the movie - you know it's going to happen but you're still telling them to look out for the iceberg. The movie tied in well with my human sexuality class. Yesterday we had a male to female post-op transexual come in to talk to the us. I cannot imagine having to go through all of that to feel comfortable in my own skin. I have it so easy and I definitely take it for granted.

It's just you and me

Music that I've been listening to lately:

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by the Smiths
Hip Hop Just Saved My Life by Lupe Fiasco featuring Nikki Jean
Kids by MGMT
Who Says by John Mayer
Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons
Winters Winds by Mumford and Sons
Pulling On A Line by Great Lake Swimmers

I'd like to make myself believe

Heading to UNB this weekend. I think it's a good 6 hour drive or so. Not a big fan of long bus rides. Actually, last time I drove to UNB (with Lacrosse), I puked my guts up in Sackville. Hoping to not relive that part of the experience. Staying with a friend from soccer and going to listen to his band on Saturday at the UNB campus pub, the Cellar.

Looking forward to heading home for Spring Break. Thinking it will be a short trip because all of my roommates will be in Halifax for the week, so I want to come back earliy and have fun with them. Can't believe this is my final semester living with them.

I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear?

Three martinis is apparently enough to leave this girl feeling tipsy. Successful Martini Monday at the Bitter End. $18.00 total.


Unrelatedly: everyone in my house is now single (three of us had been in long term relationships of 2.5+ years). Interesting house dynamic.

got sunshine in a bag

Got to give some major input for my summer staffing today, felt pretty good. Excited to begin, although not excited enough to rush through the rest of this semester.

Got 97% on my Human Sexuality midterm on Thursday. Not a bad mark. Pretty happy.

Life is good, etc etc.