This is what I am looking for

“I want a soul mate who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t already know, and make me laugh. I don’t care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there.”

Henry Rollins

When I'm not sporadically posting here, I'm over at Prose Over Bros or Beat Treats (my music blog).

If you love two people at the same time choose the second one because if you really loved the first one you wouldnt have fallen for the second.

-Johnny Depp

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh

Don't forget about books

Went to a second hand bookstore today and purchased wonderfully worn copies of Slaughterhouse Five (Vonnegut) and Hamlet (Shakespeare). Very excited to finally read both.

Remember,

You are the rule, not the exception.

That's all there is to it

You don't have bad luck with men or relationships, you have poor taste.

Insults used to be so classy

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts for support rather than illumination.”

Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

Ladies, take note

"Your dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady."

-Edith Head

Kindness begets kindness

From "How to treat others" by Unknown

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "50¢," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "35¢!" she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

We have our whole lives ahead of us

Sometimes people change so we can learn to let go.

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together.

Why do I post bits of this Marilyn Monroe quote so much? Because it is so true and it is so relevant. I'm moving on and moving forward and better things are coming together.

An ode to Osheaga 2010

Last July, I tweeted my trip to Osheaga in Montreal. Here is a compilation of them all.

July 29
Made it through the day, Montreal in the AM!
mostly packed, possibly too excited to sleep

July 30
T-minus 37 minutes to launch
Driving outfit, check. iPod, iPod adapter & charger, check. Crossword puzzles, check. #Osheaga tickets, CHECK! Let's hit it.
Hey Rosetta! on the speakers
Somewhere near Kouchibouac
Ja Rule ft. Ashanti Always On Time
Pre-K'naan K'naan rock out
"Hand us over a casmere granola bar" "Kashi?"
Just outside of Montreal
Biodome in our sights
UQAM res, livin' it up
Waiting for Of Montreal to come on
The party is crashing us now

July 31
Waiting for the Walkmen to come on
Keane finishing up, waiting for Pavement
Pavement are unbelievable!
Arcade Fire!

August 1
Taking the metro to explore the city. I love this place.
At a Quebec equivalent of Maid Marions
RayBans count through the roof
Gaslight Anthem
Charlie Winston
Can't wait for Snoop Dogg
Ten minutes until Snoop Dogg
Snoop D-O-G-G
Gin and Juice! Amazing.
Sonic Youth
Metric
This girl's seizure looks like dancing
Weezer!
The Sweater Song live
Just heard Say It Ain't So live, happiest
Pokerface covered by Weezer

August 2
Leaving the city, not as easy as entering
Last night Weezer covered Kids by MGMT and Pokerface by Lady Gaga. So fucking cool.
Woodstock
Just outside of Fredericton
Home

I need this

I’m about to do all of the things I dreamed of and
I don’t even miss you at all

"You lose feelings for your ex so you can date other people. Not the other way around."

- Unknown

Venus and Mars

“Women fall in love when they get to know you. Men are just the opposite. When they finally know you they’re ready to leave.”

— James Salter, Dusk and Other Stories

Bacon

Ron Swanson is the kidnapper in Miss Congeniality 2. Fact.

Hey you

My mom gave nicknames to all of the men in my life at the moment. There's Rhyno, Devil, and Ear ache.

Oh, Mom.

It's all happening

I just got into my dream school. Hamilton in the fall.
McMaster 2013.

Congratulations

My work has been super supportive and helpful and kind this year and in celebration of my success they bought me my own skeleton!

Second best day ever!

The day it all turned around

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I couldn't be happier.

With enough beer, your ugly duckling can become a beautiful swan

And then you can take her to your swan bed.

Dear Tim Horton's,

I would love it if you decided to make the following donuts: red velvet and marble. I think they would make much better additions than your current S'more donut or any donut you've ever made with a filling (IMHO).

Today CM and I came to a revelation

More people from our graduating class (in high school) have babies than real jobs.

Drink up

Last night I broke my rule about never playing "I never". To be fair, I didn't know the people very well. And it was also the tamest "I never" I've ever participated in. Although, one thing did stick out to me -

Someone didn't drink for "Never have I ever had birthday sex."

LIVE A LITTLE.

Awkwardly enough, I'd had birthday sex with one of the people playing.

I want this dress

It would also be nice to look like Evangeline Lily.
(While we're saying stuff that we want...)

Santa is cheap

Recently I visited my friend RG's apartment and saw that he, like me, had a Dalhousie Science Calendar. I commented that I had the same calendar, a Christmas gift. RG gave me a weird look.

"Aren't you a Science alum?" he asked. "They give you a free calendar every year."

My father has been giving me his free Dalhousie Science Calendar for Christmas for three years now.

That's not so bad, right? In fact, it's pretty selfless to give up a really awesome calendar so that I can enjoy it, right?

Well it wouldn't be so bad, if this wasn't a continuing trend in our relationship.

When I was eight or nine years old, I entered my name into a contest at my optometrist. The grand prize was a lifesized toy dog (conveniently wearing eyeglasses).

For Christmas, Santa Claus gave me a giant toy dog that was wearing eyeglasses. I think you see where I am going with this. My parents gave me the dog that I had won. I must have forgotten I entered the contest, because it wasn't until many years later that I discovered their scam.

I don't actually harbor any resentment towards my parents though, don't worry.

Seriously?

Fellow Canadians, can I get a collective what the fuck in regards to our Federal election?

No wonder kids are obese

Watching the Montreal vs. Boston NHL game. During a break the announcers discuss how important hydration is... and cut to a player drinking a Coke.

My Kinesiology degree disapproves.

so THAT'S how it works

Maybe it's just me, but you seem finally happy

I had a really great weekend in Halifax. That being said, I'm not going to post about it because I want to keep it all to myself.

Also, Maybe It's Just Me (Butch Walker) is my new jam. Great break up tune.

Acronyms that need to take off

Reblogging from a new favorite: Date by Numbers

I am using these like it my new job;
BWA “Below Waist Activity.” BWA is a delicate way of referring to sexual activities involving the genitals. “Hey Roxanne, did you and Tim bone last night?” “No, but there was some BWA.”

SUB “Straight Up Babe.” A Straight Up Babe is a girl or guy who is unequivocally hot and attractive. "There were some SUBs at the bar last night."

Vote on May 2nd, even if it's based on hotness

Most people discuss politics in a conventional way, discussing platforms and which parties they like. Not J and I. We prefer to get down and dirty.

J: you're voting liberal are ya?
Me: what makes you say that?
J: haha well you were all hot for iggy a few years ago.
Me: hahahe is a hottie
we shall see
J: yeah well stephen is pretty hot too
Me: ugh
no no no
J: imagine what his sex life is like
Me: boring
J: his wife probably wears a mask of him.
Me: hahaha yes!
that makes it better
J: and he says, oh stephen. harder stephen.

Mother knows best

There are so many of these meme things that I have tried not to re-post them, but this one made me think of my mother and I couldn't resist.

My mother has lots of dating advice and the older I get, the more I realize she knows her shit. She likes to tell me, "If there's no ring, he's fair game."

Her other favorite piece of advice is, "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen."

Family Feud, you're so jaded

What stops after marriage?

"Fun."

"You seem so innocent..."

"I get that a lot."

But I'm not.

Why I never play 'I never' anymore

I started drinking in the tenth grade. Not early or late, by any means. And with drinking came the inevitable drinking games. "I never" was one of those games, and we played it all the time. If you think about it though, of course we did. We were young and shy and this game was revealing everything we wanted to know about other people but couldn't just come out and ask. At that point in time, very few of us had had sex. There were still some people who didn't drink for the question of oral sex. We were inexperienced and wildly curious. "I never" allowed us to ask what we wanted to ask without any shame.

Now that we're in our 20s and pretty much everyone has had sex and done a wide variety of other sexual acts, the game has lost its allure. At this point, whatever I'd find out would be so out there, I probably just don't want to know.

We're not 16 years old anymore. I think I'll stick to my favorite game, drink until I'm drunk.

I can't keep my hands off of you

I thought about it and I am going to share with you all my new secret weapon:

Dove Go Fresh Burst bodywash (nectarine and ginger)

Friends, acquaintances and, most importantly, boys have been commenting non-stop on how soft my skin feels.

Now I just need to woo them. Ha-hah!

Punk

"When I was a kid, there was someone in my family, an adult, and whenever I saw them, they would say, “You got a lotta nerve.” From the time I was a little kid, it was always like, “Heh, heh, heh — you got a lotta nerve.” I always thought, What does that mean? But then when I got older, I thought that it was an instruction. If you tell a kid something, it sticks. I think I do have a lot of nerve. But, I mean, I think I maybe got it from that person who said it to me."

Christopher Walken

I am in love with this song

Usually I'm not a fan of animated gifs, but...

it's SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE-G

Straight people have it so hard

"If you don’t like gay marriage blame straight people—-They are the ones that keep having gay babies."

Unknown

All we need is a good ribbing

"You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. ‘I believe God created me in one day.’ Yeah, looks like he rushed it."

Bill Hicks

It looks just like a Christmas tree

You can never exercise too much elevator etiquette.

I hate Angry Birds, but this is kind of amazing...

... although perhaps not from an eating standpoint. I prefer more cake, less marzipan.

:OOOOOOO

Apparently these are really popular in Japan right now. For a mere $185+ they can be yours.

My mother's shortcomings

"I'm obviously not a good mother. I haven't made you famous like the Kardashians."

Mom

Nightmares

IT'S A VAGINA WITH TEETH!

Or a penguin's mouth...

Clam slam pearl jam

Perfect for the lesbian honeymoon suite.

Summer is on its way, be prepared

For those of you who want to wear sandals this summer, but are afraid of losing your sock tan.

Drop it like it's not

Haligonians, beware.

There is bad ecstasy afoot.

Thank you Dalhousie Security for informing the masses.

Skim milk, fat, you're not

Remember when Napoleon Dynamite was all the rage and everyone quoted it non-stop and thought it was hilarious?

yeah, it's on tv right now. I don't think it's been long enough for it to make a comeback already.

If I were older, male, and a bit more jaded, this could have been me:

http://www.intimidatinguncle.com/

Just a guy making fun of kids in photos. I kind of love it.

Bitch is the bomb

Amy Poehler, I love you so much.

"They’re fucking gross, man. Look, I love beautiful girls too. I think everyone should be free to have their knee socks and their sweaty shorts, but I’m over it. I’m over this weird, exhausted girl. I’m over the girl that’s tired and freezing and hungry. I like bossy girls, I always have. I like people filled with life. I’m over this weird media thing with all this, like, hollow-eyed, empty, party crap."
-Poehler on American Apparel

I've always wondered what the fuck about American Apparel ads. Seriously, what the fuck?

How come everything awesome wasn't made by me?

Love this website: http://betterbooktitles.com

My favorite PSAs and other things that aren't true

"Remember kids, only rain in the storm drain."

All the small things

"I think anyone that would call me a “wigger” or a “tweaker” or something worse—those people are Nazis. Just because of skin color you’re going to insult someone for playing hip-hop or country music? It’s weird to me. I think the days of labeling people and calling them names based on the music they listen to are long gone. If people are still thinking like that, it’s so ignorant that I can’t even entertain it for a minute."

Travis Barker

DUDE

Hipster Arrested Development posted my submission - I'm almost Internet famous!

There's always money IN the banana stand

www.hipsterarresteddevelopment.tumblr.com

Don't dream it's over

Just like that, the dream's alive again.

That's why I wrote this song to sing

Occasionally I break down and allow myself to post crap like this:

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
keeping the beat
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
love machine girls
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
minute baby minute
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
you make the rain fall
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
my propeller
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
just a dream
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
steady shock
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
i'm not important to you
WHAT IS 2+2?
give and go
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
boneyard
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
yesterday never tomorrows
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
home
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
butterfly
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
backstabber
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
she's hearing voices
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
brighter at night
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
he won't go
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
still take you home
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
a certain romance
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
gifted
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
triphallus, to punctuate!
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
sunday
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
rumour has it
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
shine blockas
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
hey floyd
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
sun is almost down
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
on melancholy hill
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
mind eraser
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
up from below
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
girl sailor

If you feel like letting go

Sometimes all you need is something to believe in. Actually, I think all you ever need is something to believe in. That hope, that blind faith, it can give you something to hold on to when times are tough or you've lost your way. We all need something to hold on to.

I wish I had come up with this

My new favourite website is To My Husband.

Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead

Spencer's sister on Pretty Little Liars was crazy Nanny Carrie on One Tree Hill.

I'm like a poor person's IMDB.

What's on

What I'm listening to:
Alphabeat
Hey Rosetta!
Hey Ocean!
Mat Kearney
City and Colour

What I'm watching:
Righteous Kill
Veronica Mars
One Tree Hill
Castle
Criminal Minds
Breaking Bad

What I'm reading:
The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

Don't call it a comeback

I think that things are maybe going to be okay. I hope.

it's love, make it hurt

Every song ends, doesn't mean we can't enjoy the music

Home. Most of us, the fortunate, are born into one. The literal think of it as a house they live in. Some of us think of it as family or a place in our hearts. And at some point all of us need to leave home. We leave to spread our wings and, to eventually, create a home of our own. But no matter what, I think the whole point of leaving home is to come back, some day. Whether it's a weekend, a year, or a lifetime, most of us return. And nothing beats the feeling of returning home. It's familiar and comforting in a way that only it can be.

I want to leave so I can feel that rush of coming back. Again and again and again.

Look at me babe, I'm with you

Now that I don't have to worry about ruining the surprise I can finally talk about what I got my amazing boyfriend for Valentine's Day.

I bought him a Detroit Lions (NFL) t-shirt, a blue mini football (to go with the shirt), a hoodie that I thought he'd look good in, and I made him custom magnetic poetry. While the magnetic poetry was time consuming, it was well worth it. I think I've spent a total of 1.5 hours playing with it since it was unveiled. It seems to be a hit with his roommates too.

Dreams can come true

Two of my current favorite things are combining this week: City and Colour's "The Girl" and One Tree Hill.

Peace

I just, in the past four weeks, deleted over 400 people from my Facebook account. That's more people than were in my graduating class in high school. It's hard to believe that I added (or accepted) 400+ people that I don't know and/or talk to and/or like.

Good riddance baby mamas, Encounters with Canada kids, and other friends of friends that can no longer creep my profile.

P.S. Please don;'t try to re-add me. Let's try not to make this awkward.

Ke$ha ain't the only ho on the block

You ask if you’re my first, ‘cause damn I’m tight
Well baby how’s this, you’re my first tonight
Don’t ask questions if you don’t want to know
I never claimed to be as white as driven snow

Yeah sure you’re my first, whatever you say
This is the second time I lost my virginity today
Boys want to think they’re the first to land
But you don’t get this good reading Cosmopolitan

I know I said your dick was the perfect size
But it meant something when I couldn’t look you in the eyes
Sorry love, but your junk’s no prize
It just gets lost between your thighs

You want to be my boyfriend but let me see
I stop buying when the milk ain’t free
If it’s more than sex, it just ain’t for me
Especially with a dick fit for a baby

At a party and you wanna hold my hand
How can I put this so you’ll understand
If anybody asks, I’m with the band
Don’t wanna get stuck here in no man’s land

I’m home from the bar and I’m black out drunk
Had Chinese now I’m craving spunk
Call you up, you want to talk
Just cum talk baby, with your cock

You wanna be my boyfriend but I’m not one to be tied down
Unless we’re talking bondage, then you can go to town
But fuck this shit, I’m no man’s lass
It’s an inverse relationship of love to ass

Girls don't know anything and other male revelations

I told Haris's roommate (a big Packers fan) a few days ago that I thought the Superbowl score would be 31-27 Packers. He told me I was being ridiculous and that there was no way the game would be that high-scoring. It felt pretty good to write him a Facebook message ribbing him for doubting me after the Packers beat the Steelers 31-25 tonight.

Not bad for a European football fan.

It's all or nothing, all for something

The first rays of light in the morning or the last rays at night
The lull in the ocean the second before a wave breaks
A solitary tear staining your cheek
The sound of complete silence the first time you hear it
Stars out in the country away from city lights
The knot in your throat right before crying
Knowing the difference between lonely and alone
The anticipation before a kiss
A broken heart

Where do you go?

Do you wanna runaway together
I would say it was your best line... ever
Too bad I fell for it
And I walked alone
Waiting for you to come along
Take my tortured heart by the hand
And write me off

Do you know I cry
Do you know I die
Do you know I cry
And It's not the good kind

Oh you forced me to become strong
When I just craved being weak
And you think you know
And I would like to think so
But do you know that when you go
I fall apart

Do you know I cry
Do you know I die
Do you know I cry
And It's not the good kind

No you're not the good kind

What does it all come down to?

Love song for no one

Margaret arrayed the rocks around the hull before it was sinking,
A million stones, a million bones, a million holes within the chinking.

And painting rings around your eyes these peppered holes so filled with crying.
A whisper weighed upon the tattered down where you and I were lying.

Tell me now, tell me this, A forest's son, a river's daughter,
A willow on the willow wisp, our ghosts will wander all of the water.

So let's be married here today these rushing waves to bare our witness,
And we will lye like river stones rolling only where it takes us.

But I pulled you and I called you here,
And I caught you and I brought you here.
These hazards of love, never more will trouble us.

Oh Margaret the lapping waves are licking quietly at our ankles
another bow another breath this brilliant chill's come for the shackle.

With this long last rush of air we speak our vows and sorry whispers,
when the waves came crashing down, he closed his eyes and softly kissed her.

But I pulled you and I called you here,
And I caught you and I brought you here
These hazards of love, never more will trouble us.
And these hazards of love, never more will trouble us.

Spotted:

It only took me until now to discover/realize/figure out that the voice of Gossip Girl is my fave gal Kristen Bell.

The only thing more exciting would be bran

Happy New Year

Hope everyone had an enjoyable NYE.