Here's a picture... no one likes reading

Keep busy, keep steady

It's clear that I have far too much time on my hands. I just ensured that every single album on my iTunes has the cover art. Tracks that aren't from albums have the singles cover.

This is my life.

Songs of 2010

20. Misery by Maroon 5
I am in misery
There ain't nobody
Who can comfort me, oh yeah
Why won't you answer me?
The silence is slowly killing me, oh yeah

19. Difficult by Uffie
I don't wanna live in fear
That's why I scream at the world
I'm not trying to be the best
So don't worry if I write rhymes, 'cause I write checks

18. She Likes Hair Bands by Butch Walker
She can dance like
She's done it for a living before
And I kinda dance like
I've been shot in the leg for sure

17. Lewis Takes Action by Owen Pallett
My every move is guided by the bidding of the singer.
The night is split by the whistle of my amber whip
And the fire from my fingers

16. Bang Bang You're Dead by Hannah Georgas
But you let me down again
Tell me, can't you tell me
Go on and tell me that it's true
Call me, can't you call me
It's the least that you can do

15. Texico Bitches by Broken Social Scene
Texico bitches this town is going down
Texico bitches I hope you stick around

14. Rhinestone Eyes by Gorillaz
Here we go again
That's electric
Your loves' like rhinestones, falling from the sky

13. I Feel Ya Strutter by Of Montreal
Yeah, I feel you strutter
I got so lucky with you
So I hammer on guitar for who you are
With me being your straight up
Only solid number, yeah

12. Americanarama by Hollerado
Hey Philadelphia you used to exist
As a city in the North-East where the Power used to sit
There's no more Chicago
She went down with the last of the buffalo


11. Fuck You by Cee Lo Green
I said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit?
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!

10. Hands by the Ting Tings
Two hands
What you’re supposed to do with two hands
To get the life of the richest of man

9. Raise Your Weapon by deadmau5 feat. Greta Svabo Bech
Rippin' my heart was so easy, so easy,
Launch your assault now, take it easy
Raise your weapon, raise your weapon, one word and it's over

8. Doncamatic by Gorillaz feat. Daley
Don't slow down
Even if it's only to escape
Just download now
Before somebody steals your place man

7. Teenage Dream (Kaskade Club Mix) by Katy Perry
We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets

6. Bad Apples by Boxer the Horse
Girl I don’t mind you drinking wine from this cup,
But grow up


5. You've changed by Sia
You’ve changed, oh
For the better, yeah


4. Clap Your Hands by Sia
I've been neglecting the good things
What I mean is I need the good things
I'm finding the light in the good things
3. Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)
Dead shopping malls rise like mountains beyond mountains,
And there's no end in sight,
I need the darkness someone please cut the lights

2. Erase Me by Kid Cudi feat. Kanye West
She said I don't spend time like I really should
She said she don't know me,anymore
I think she hates me deep down
I know she does

1. Monster by Kanye West feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj & Bon Iver
She came up to me and said this the number 2
If you wanna make it number one your number 2 now
This that goose an’ malibu I call it Malibooya

Think my parents would agree to putting this window decal on our car?

I had to Wikipedia LeBron James

Hopped off the plane at MIA with a dream and my new jersey
Welcome to the team, Miami Heat, managed by the man Pat Riley
Jumped in the cab, here I am to start first line

Look to my right and I see my Nike sign
This is all so standard, everybody knows I’m famous
My tummy’s turnin’ and I’m feelin’ kinda homesick
Oh no wait, I just missed lunch
That’s when the taxi man pulled into Micky D’s
And I ate my weight in beef
And I ate my weight in beef
And I ate my weight in beef

So I put my hands up, they’re payin’ my bills
I’m a McDonald’s kind of guy, noddin’ my head like Damn
Rakin’ in cash like the man I am
Got my hands up, they’re yellin’ my name
I know I am gonna get paid
Yeah! It’s a party in the NBA!
Yeah! It’s a party in the NBA!

Get to the court in my taxi cab, everybody’s lookin’ at me now
Like “Who’s the dick rockin’ his own kicks, he’s gotta be new in town”
So different with my Cavs not around me
It’s definitely not a Cleveland party
‘cause all I see are Bosh and Dwayne Wade
Guess it’s time to show ‘em how the game’s played

My hands are dribblin’ and I’m runnin’ up the court
Lots of pressure and I’m nervous
That’s when I shot the ball and dropped a 3
And I made it rain, oh yeah
And I made it rain, oh yeah
And I made it rain, oh yeah

So I put my hands up, I’m playin’ my game
The butterflies fly away, noddin’ my head like Damn
Movin’ the ball like Jordan
Got my hand’s up, I’m playin’ my game
I know I’m gonna do well in points
Yeah! It’s a party in the NBA!
Yeah! It’s a party in the NBA!

If this was your keyboard, you'd type s'more too

We'd all be better off listening to this piece of advice

Guilty gossip pleasures

Being barely employed and a recent university graduate, I'm not proud to say that I've fallen into the clutches of many a television show I wouldn't previously have watched. My new favorite is Gossip Girl. I scoffed at those who liked it, turned a blind eye to S and B, and didn't understand the reference xoxo gg. Now I can't stop watching. Dependable, down-to-earth Dan and sweet, lovable Nate. Ice cold Chuck Bass. And my personal favorite, Lil J, always ready to fall from grace, over and over and over.

Khloe is definitely the ugly sheep of the family

There's this one particular commercial for the Kardashian reality show and it makes me laugh every single time.

"Kim, would you stop taking pictures of yourself, your sister is going to jail."

it really means gaping butthole

I noticed today that HP Total Care Advisor's logo looks shockingly similar to 3OH3!s band logo. I went to Google to get a good image to share with you all - turns out other people agree with me.

Ho ho hold on

I love Christmas time. I love the music and the food, the shopping, gift-giving and family time. Finding the perfect gift for someone gives me a little thrill.

A few days ago, at Wicker Emporium, I found the perfect gift for my Dad.

Anyone who knows my Dad, or has been to my house during the holidays, knows that he collects Santas. And I mean collects.
Since this photo was taken, more than 15 Santas have been added to the "army".

Anyway, that brings me back to my point. I found a beautiful metal Santa with a matching tree. Sounds super lame, but I know Dad will love it.

I was proven right tonight when we went to Wicker Emporium to find Dad's secretaries ornaments for their Christmas presents. Dad went right up to the display with the metal Santas, picked it up, and said he had to have it. I had to explain to Dad that it was Christmas time and he really shouldn't buy himself anything. It took a lot of convincing but we left without buying the Santa.

At least I know he's going to like it.

Hey future, I'm coming for you

Good thing I only work part time, applying to three grad schools is proving to be a full time job.

More like a full time volunteer position.

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

In the spirit of Christmas, I downloaded a Lady Gaga Christmas song and it has turned out to be highly inappropriate.

"Light me up, put me on top... Let's fa-la-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la."

Who wants to go caroling?

Weather cocks

Even though it's obviously a middle-aged woman kind of movie, I loved Morning Glory tonight.

run and tell that, homeboy

Thinking maybe Halifax's night watcher would be more likely to get caught if there was a catchy song for him as well.We gon' find you.

Also, I may be the last person on the planet to have seen this video. My dad even saw it before me.

Don't worry if I write rhymes, I write cheques

While Morgan was making beautiful Christmas cards for family and friends, I was fucking around and making an imitation Warhol out of a leaf.
Get your Christmas orders in asap.

Soul meets body

representin' California

Let's talk shit

Excellent timing on my Willow Smith post. Here's an exerpt from the most recent Coke Talk post:

Do you whip your hair back and forth?
Don’t let haters keep me off my grind.

To all tha haters

Anyone see the music video for Willow (Smith)'s Whip My Hair? Aside from the fact that the song sucks, she looks exactly like her brother, who looks exactly like their dad. I look forward to following her career.

Perhaps the Black's answer to the classic Devo hit?

A trip down memory lane

Via Colijn's Facebook quotations;

"AW BRAWWW you've been avoiding me like the plague braw."
-Red Devil. Also Author of the infamous "You Just Look Like You've Seen A GHOST Braw."

"Slops/Glaas Jan Huntelaar"
-Mr Mets on various performances

"The forecast for this week is looking slooops"
-Wes (Mildly pleased with Dalhousie's cornbread situation)

"No Man...half a sub means NOTHING!"
-Yet Another Demonstration Of Zeid's Go-Big-Or-Go-Home Life Philosophy

"She's so down she's on the floor."
-Lauren commenting on Jacqueline on The Dome floor

"Your whole family's a joke."
-Shams To A.T. walking back from Hate's

"Hey Man, are you a cop? ... Because you look like the fucking Wu-Tang Clan."
-AT talking to undercover cop in Drunk Tank

"Wo Wo Wo! A glass of water and a piece of lettuce will do for you"
-Mr. Corns on a Shirreff Hall lunch-time scope

Take a dirty picture for me

Not even slightly surprising that Kesha would be featured in a love song about sending your loved one a dirty picture of yourself.

More importantly, who is writing the lyrics for these songs? I could use a new day job.

Black holes and revelations

My favorite part of Teen Mom?

The blurb they play after each commercial. Teen pregnancy is completely preventable. Visit this website to find out more.

I'm only smart in English or French

My wonderful boyfriend asked me not once, not twice, but three times what time it was in Bosnian the other morning. He wasn't too impressed when I didn't respond and just stared blankly at him. Then he realized he wasn't speaking English.

Rock me like a hurricane

"I like guys with mini vans. It means they're in a band or they have kids. That's sexy."

-JS

It Gets Better

The great thing about the Internet is being able to share things all over the place. I saw this earlier and wanted to pass it along.

Photo memories

Considering that I have not put any of my relationship information on Facebook since 2006, I find it completely eerie and a little mean that Facebook exclusively suggests that I look at old photos of exes.

Drop the beat

Somewhere along the way this blog turned (mostly) into a music blog. Except for the fact that I don't really know anything and I'm never current.

Here's the playlist I made for working at the store. I refuse to apologize for some of the picks, call them guilty pleasures.

01. You Make the Rain Fall by Kevin Rudolf and Flo Rida
02. The Gift of a Black Heart by Said the Whale
03. Sailors Eyes by Joel Plaskett
04. #1 Summer Jam by Butch Walker
05. Changing the Weather by Crash Parallel
06. Half of my Heart by John Mayer with Taylor Swift
07. Alleyways by Hey Ocean!
08. Help I'm Alive by Metric
09. Seaside by the Kooks
10. Melody by Kate Earl
11. The General by Dispatch
12. Airplanes by B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams
13. What Makes a Man? by City and Colour
14. Don't Let Your Feet Touch Ground by Ash Koley
15. Through & Through & Through by Joel Plaskett
16. Too Dramatic by Ra Ra Riot
17. Undeniable by Mat Kearney
18. Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes
19. Neon by John Mayer
20. You Belong With Me cover by Butch Walker
21. Rocknroll Band by Boxer the Horse
22. A Song About California by Hey Ocean!
23. Up Up & Away by id CuDi
24. Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons
25. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry
26. Bad Apples by Boxer the Horse

But I already know what you came for

It's a crime to fall in love.
Heart and mind, and soul in love.
It's a crime to fall in love,
So hard, so hard.

I shouldn't have bothered, cause
You're just like all the others.
Now I know, and I won't do that again.
I should've guessed that you'd be
Just like all the rest.
Now I know not to go through that again.

I'm still crying all night and all day,
But if I show it, someone lock me away,

Because it's a crime to fall in love.
Heart and mind, and soul in love.
It's a crime to fall in love, so hard, so hard.

4 months late, 8 months early?

Texting conversation with my lovely little sister:

Me - Don't forget today is dad's birthday.
J - I know! Thanks
Me - Just checking!
J - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Can't wait to see you Friday. Have a great day!
Me - You sent that to me, not dad. But thank you.
J - Clearly not tired...

If you're wondering if I want you to, I want you to

One

Sometimes, if you let them, people will surprise you.

Can't believe you're back again

Had the pleasure of meeting Terry Fox's father today at work. He bought 4 Dirt Shirts and gave me a 30th anniversary pin. A very sweet man.

It's official

If I ever have kids, I will never be the mom that bakes things for them. I made chocolate chip cookies for the hundreth time tonight and for the hundreth time they didn't turn out well.

On the bright side, if I ever have a family to cook for, I can do that.

It's not going to be this way forever

Just finished reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. It's about a girl who gets thrust into a battle royale situation because of the government in her country. One of the better books I've read in a long time - highly recommended. Now I need to get my hands on the other two Hunger Games books.

Sippin' on gin and juice

MP and I are brewin' some wine. Pinot Blanc to be specific. We started it tonight and it'll be ready just in time for one of my favorite holidays, Halloween! Excitement!

It's all over town

I've been on a few lists on Twitter before, but this one is a new addition. I didn't realize I had any of the qualities of a hipster, other than the American Apparel sweater.

The sky is the limit

HJ and I watched The Darjeeling Limited tonight and I couldn't shake the feeling that there are people in my life that remind me of the characters in the movie.

Would recommend.

Falling Back Into It

Ballad of Hugo Chavez - Arkells
Already Yours - Bahamas
She Likes Hair Bands - Butch Walker
Melody - Kate Earl
50 Ways to Make a Record - Kid Cudi
Led to the Sea - Jenny Owen Youngs
Black River Killer - Blitzen Trapper
Peace on Earth -Boxer the Horse
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues - The Gaslight Anthem
Keep Breathing - Ingrd Michaelson

But it's like that

Taking it upon myself to provide you with this blast from the past:

Stay together for the kids

After a week-long hiatus, you (reader) may feel the sting of neglect. Fear not, I have returned. Once I upload 200+ pictures of mountains, I'll show you how my trip to Calgary was.

love,

L

This kind of shit is my jam

And also the reason people probably don't believe I actually have decent taste in music.

Because awkwardness knows no bounds

Remember the other day when I confessed my childhood love of Star Trek and Capt. Janeway (Voyager)? Well, I stumbled upon this gem on Awkward Family Photos, and while it's TNG-inspired, it still warmed my heart a little.
I'm wondering how 10-year-old Lauren reconciled her Star Trek love with her Star Wars love? That shit's like Romeo and Juliet.

Come on gravity, you just keep bringing me down

If J-WOWW (from Jersey Shore)'s tits defy gravity, I just saw a pair that very much have embraced it (gravity).

Nobody appreciates orangu-tits.

Dreamcatchers work, if your dream is to be gay

I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'

Demetri Martin, comedian

Enjoyable typos/typing too quickly

Degrassi's Tuesday night episode: Jenna is determined to try out for a realty show.

Inappropriate online behaviour

Or
How to ensure that I stop following you on Facebook and Twitter
Or
How insecure can you be?

KM (this whole abbreviating names things get tough when you know 3+ KMs) asked a question via Twitter today and I had SO MANY OPINIONS I couldn't really fit it into 140 characters. The question was: TWITTER: help me. what is an appropriate amount of online PDA? i.e. lovey public wall posts, relationship statuses, nonstop @replies.... are picture albums of a couple socially appropriate? statuses that relate to couples? what traits do ppl who do that have?

My response was this: Seems to me that people who over-do online PDA are the ones who are least secure and comfortable in their relationship.

Now I'd like to expand on it.

We've all seen it in our newsfeed. At least, those of us who aren't very picky about who we add (not anymore though!). There's always that couple who can't seem to write on each other's walls enough, can't post enough pictures of themselves together, can't seem to ever get enough. As I said to KM, I think it's all about insecurity. The need to show everyone (and I mean everyone, because these people also tend to add everyone they've ever come into contact with) that they are a)in a relationship and b)happy happy and in love (or luv, as they probably type it).

The absolute worst part of this online PDA pandemic, in my opinion, is the 'couple albums' on Facebook. They are just brimming with photos of the couple looking at each other, kissing, walking, sitting, breathing... it goes on. Those are personal photos. I mean, I don't understand why you'd want them in the first place. I guess you could tack them to your wall and stare at them when you aren't staring deeply into your partner's eyes. Or you could, you know, be happy when you're with the other person, and not a complete stalker when you're not.

The other thing is these people treating their boyfriend/girlfriend's wall/Twitter page like an email account. I don't need to sign into my profile and have 20 of your personal love messages pop up. If I need to press the "hide button", I don't. I go right for the "remove friend" (/unfollow) button.

I guess what my final answer is is this: What is an appropriate amount? A little. What is a necessary amount? None. What traits do these people share? Insecurity (!) and more insecurity.

For Pete's sake people - go live your life (and relationship) irl.

The li(v)es we lead

Sometimes I hate making decisions. And when I say decisions, I don't mean the trivial ones like what I'm going to eat for lunch or which movie I want to see at the cinema. No, the decisions I am referring to are the "big" ones. What do I want to do for a career? Where do I want to go to school? Where do I want to live? And you know what? Sometimes I don't want to make a decision. Making a decision makes me accountable and maybe I don't want to be accountable. What if I make a bad decision? I guess some may say that making no decision is a decision in itself.

Regardless, I do make the tough decisions. My parents taught me that you can't go through life letting someone else decide things for you. In fact, I'm sure there are lots of quotes about that very thing. Jim Rohn comes to mind with, "If you don't make your own life plan, you'll fall into someone else's. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much." Or something like that. Point is, I make the decisions, albeit reluctantly.

What I had never thought to do was live like we're all going to be wiped from the earth. You've heard of the Mayans, yeah? How they predicted the end of the world for 2012? Well, I met someone when I was living in Halifax that was putting her life on hold until December 2012. She was going to spend the next 4 years (I met her in my third year of university) partying and spending money and getting high (on drugs and life and drugs).

I must say, I thought she was a complete idiot then, and I still think that now. But it's an interesting perspective. And man, if the world does end in 2012, she did her thang.

(Did I really just say thang?)

So, you can keep making the tough decisions and making your life plan, or you can get crazy, get wild, party all night.



If the world doesn't end, that kind of sucks for you though, right?

Nice weather we're having

A standard Monday morning activity in elementary school was to go over what everyone had done on the weekend. Thinking back now, I’m surprised any of us really had much to share – what do ten year olds do on the weekend? I had no money, no interests, and no driver’s license. The most exciting weekend activity during those years would have been going grocery shopping with my father and picking out a special treat. Actually, in those days, after grocery shopping on a Saturday (almost always Saturday), I’d go home and settle in front of the TV and watch Star Trek: Voyager. You couldn’t speak to me during the one hour that the programme was on. My mom likens me to a zombie if she ever tells anyone about those days (and she loves to tell everyone about those embarassing days). I was glued to the TV, watching Captain Janeway’s every move. Actually, as an aside, I dressed up as her for Halloween one year. All that to say, I never really had much to share with the class.

I completely digressed though. My point being, Monday mornings were often spent discussing, in great (and unnecessary) detail, what we had done on the weekend. In junior high this activity usually fell by the wayside as teachers really didn’t care, and more often than not all everyone had to say was that on Friday night they’d gone to see a movie at the theatre. Grade seven was nothing if not predictable.

Surprisingly, the what-did-you-do-on-the-weekend activity returned in my first year of university. In the same grade seven predictability, all anyone ever really had to discuss was an episode of binge drinking, except most of us felt this wasn’t the best story to share with the professor (that is, if you even remembered the story to begin with). The professor who made us participate in this activity is the same professor that made the class, on the first day, stand up one at a time and say your name and one thing you enjoy doing. It was like being back in the first grade, except that everyone had already hit puberty and we were paying a lot of money to be there.

Now, at work, every Monday inevitably leads to the same discussion: How was your weekend? This question, to me anyway, is in the same category as setences like “We should do lunch” and “How are you?” It’s something that we just say, and we’re all guilty of it. No one wants an answer, really. It’s just something to fill the conversational void, like talking about the weather. Even so, I always say something when asked. Saying “nothing” is the ultimate conversation foul. It goes nowhere and both parties are then left trying to escape or salvage the wreckage.

So, how was your weekend?

Today's post brought to you by Luke Surl

So baby don't lie to me

Had lunch today at Leonhard's (for like the 100th time this summer, really) with two of my favorite people, HJ and KM. It was HJ's first Leonhard's experience and I think he enjoyed it. The soup was amazing, as always.

If you haven't tried Leonhard's, you must.

Nothing left to lose

I kind of don't recognize myself anymore. I don't mean that in a depressive, I'm-so-lost kind of way. I am just amazed at how much this summer has changed me. Or maybe it's not me, but circumstances. Either way, I feel barely recognizeable.

I'm dating someone great, which is not what I am used to. I don't expect a pity party, but let's be honest; I've had terrible choice in suitors in the past.

I've graduated and, with almost certainty, will not be returning to school next month. There's still the off-chance I will be accepted off of the wait list, but I'm more than willing to work for the year and re-apply.

My grandmother passed away. Last summer my dad's mom passed on, and this summer my mother's mom has left us. This leaves me with no living grandparents. My mother's mom was always the grandparent I was closest to, so this death hit me the hardest. Still, her quality of life was no longer good, and as everyone likes to point out, "it [was] for the best."

I don't hang out with the same crowd or in the same fashion. The only carry-over from last summer is really music trivia, and even that is slowly losing its charm. I'm not sure where I stand on this issue (not music trivia). I've never really been a social creature, but I feel like I need to take some initiatives in this regard.

How's that for truth?

Time heels all wounds

Why do women insist on wearing high heels if they can't walk properly in them?

It makes me feel sexy.

Is it sexy to take 5,000 (extra) baby steps with your ass stuck out and your arms up for balance?

Oh, it is? Oops.

For a Science student, this joke never gets old

Sorry to the rest of you suckers.

Wham bam thank you mammary gland

I've come to the realisation that a new iPhone will cost me the same as a new BlackBerry. This leaves me wondering which phone to get.

Thoughts?

I want an iPod Touch, so an iPhone could play a dual role.

Hope grows in a dump

My boss is sitting in his office with the door open and he has whoever he's talking to on the phone on speakerphone and SHE SOUNDS JUST LIKE JAN.

Does that make this The Office (as opposed to the office)?

I call not being Meredith.

I'm just a love machine

Recently acquired albums:
-Crystal Castles s/t
-Pavement Brighten the Corners
-The Gaslight Anthem The '59 Sound & Senor and the Queen
-Sia Some People Have Real Problems
-Hannah Georgas This Is Good
-Arcade Fire The Suburbs
-Lights s/t EP
-Ra Ra Riot The Orchard
-Athlete The Getaway EP

People in glass houses

"It’s tempting to imagine that [you] could be forceful and self-confident without being arrogant or jerky, but that’s a false hope, because it’s other people who get to decide when they think you’re a jerk, and trying to stay under that threshold means giving those people veto power over your actions. To put yourself forward as someone good enough to do interesting things is, by definition, to expose yourself to all kinds of negative judgments, and as far as I can tell, the fact that other people get to decide what they think of your behavior leaves only two strategies for not suffering from those judgments: not doing anything, or not caring about the reaction. Not caring works surprisingly well."

Clay Shirky, via young manhattanite

Things that go bump in the night

The best way to describe it? You make me happy. Like, walk around with a goofy grin on my face all day happy. That happy.

Don't think of me

Keeping a journal is supposed to be therapeutic, but reading about my life circa 2004-05 is just cringe-worthy and kind of hilarious.

You wear your high-top sneakers and your sailor tattoos

How do I begin to explain the weekend I just had? While short, it was packed with a lot.

Friday, we (KW, AW, and me) departed Charlottetown at 8:00 AM. Took the most backwoods way to the bridge you could imagine. It’s what you would call a Walsh-cut (as opposed to a short-cut).

Speaking of backwoods, we took the most backwoods way to Montreal, ever. It’s what Google Maps lists as the “shortest time” drive. We drove through pure, undeveloped, uninhabited forest (no rest stops, power lines, or even yellow road lines!) for about 400 km. We stopped the car briefly and heard, for the first time in a long time, pure silence. My ears almost couldn’t handle the complete lack of sound.

I won’t bore you with the details of the drive, except that there was a Lady Gaga rock out and that I drove from a bit before Edmundston to the outskirts of Montreal. It was rather uneventful and we made good time.

Arrived at Auberge de l’est around 9 PM perhaps. Checked in and got settled in our room. The multi-3 suite we got ended up being quite nice. HJ and I had a double bed, desk, and decently sized closet all to ourselves, and then shared a kitchen (stove, fridge, toaster, coffee maker) and bathroom with MP, KM, KW, and AW. Great set up, and a great location. We were a 2 minute walk from the Metro and there was a Dépanneur right under us (convenience store that sells alcohol).

Friday night a crowd of us went to the Metropolis to see Of Montreal play. The venue is awesome. So huge and a big balcony. Of Montreal used to be a favourite band of mine, so it was cool to see them. They didn’t live up to my expectations of them, but I enjoyed it all the same. Had way too much wine though. Made for a bit of a grumpy Lauren and a very shitty Saturday morning.

Saturday was the start of Osheaga. HJ, MP, KM, and I took the Metro over to Ile-Ste-Helene (built for Expo 67) and headed to Parc Jean-Drapeau. We got there kind of early and also didn’t realize there was no re-entry to the concerts. We couldn’t leave all freaking day. That made for a bit of a poorly prepared Saturday.

Saturday started off with the Walkmen (someone played before them, but I consider them the official start to Osheaga). They had a good set and were a great start to the day. After that, HJ was kind enough to accompany me to see Owen Pallett. I had only heard one song by him so it was a bit of a long shot to go, but we enjoyed him. Caught the end of Sarah Harmer’s set, which was enjoyable, then saw one of the best sets of the festival, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Super high energy and very entertaining.

After Edward Sharpe we took a little break and sat in the shade while Jimmy Cliff played. Got up for K’naan but wasn’t overly impressed by his stage presence. Music was just as good as if it were on a CD though. Ended with Waving Flag (no surprise there). K’naan also did a duet with Keane, who played later on Saturday after Stars. Stars had a good set, although I haven’t listened to them since high school and I didn’t know any of their new material.

After K’naan was another highlight, Pavement. Definitely one of the better musical acts I saw on the weekend. Not only great music, but excellent stage presence. Someone in the crowd chucked a beer and it landed square on the lead singer’s head. He didn’t even blink – just continued playing. After the song ended, instead of being pissed off, he just commented on the “good aim” of the person who threw the beer.

After Pavement, KW and I tried to see Robyn (you may remember her ’97 smash hit Show Me Love). I say try because we went over to her stage and sat there for 45 minutes and she never showed up. I was not impressed. When I got back to our digs, I ended up YouTubing the song and felt that was just as good.

After the Robyn debaucle, Arcade Fire came on the close the day. They had a fantastic set. I feel bad because I definitely did not appreciate it as much as I should have because I was freezing and tired (long day paired with being unprepared for the whole ‘no re-entry’ thing).

Saturday night I stayed in while HJ went out with friends. Best decision I could have made. I woke up Sunday morning feeling 100% better than Saturday morning. MP, KM, KW, and I explored the city by Metro and walking. Ended up on Ste. Catherine’s street. Apparently it was their Pride festival. Lots of men holding hands. We walked around for a bit and then made the best purchase of the weekend, hand sanitizer. Surprisingly, Montreal has no little hand sanitizer stations, even in the Metro. We felt grimy and dirty for most of the weekend (probably because we were grimy an dirty).

Headed to the concerts at around 3 PM, just in time to see Gaslight Anthem, another highlight for me. I had never heard them before and was completely blown away. After their set I sat down in the shade and listened to Ariane Moffatt, The Black Keys, Charlie Winston and The Cat Empire. We (and there were about 13-15 of us) ate snacks, talked, napped, hung out and enjoyed the music without being in the scorching sun.

At about 6 PM I got up and got situated for the much anticipated Snoop Dogg. He wasn’t scheduled to start until 6:35, but I wanted to be able to see him. He started about 20 minutes late, so it was a long wait, but completely worth it. He played Gin and Juice, and that was all I really wanted the entire time.

After Snoop, sat down for Sonic Youth, then eventually re-emerged for Metric. Emily Hanes is a big weirdo, but put on a good show. Gimme Sympathy and Combat Baby were highlights for that set.

After Metric it was finally time for the day’s headliner, and my personal favourite band since the seventh grade, Weezer. This was one of the major reasons I went to Osheaga and they did not disappoint. I got to sing-along to The Sweater Song and Say It Ain’t So live. It was unbelievable. Rivers was in good spirits and put on a good show. In their first encore they did a Kids (MGMT) and Pokerface (Lady Gaga) cover, which was really cool. Left before their final encore (Buddy Holly) to catch the Metro, but was fully satisfied having heard Say It Ain’t So.

Sunday night we hit up ES’s place after the concert. Beautiful apartment. Aside from a slightly scary roommate, it was a good time. I was pretty tired after another long day in the sun though, so when the boys headed out to the bars, I took it as my cue to return to res.

Monday we woke up very early (8 AM) and started the trek back to Charlottetown. Got a little lost, stopped more than our way up, listened to some good music, and eventually made it back in one piece.

And that brings me to now, back in the real world. Montreal was amazing.

I'll never be the same if we ever meet again

Moncton was a really good time. It was nice to see my NB and NS colleagues and I actually got some really positive feedback from the regional consultant. Went to supper with NM, a fellow Kine grad and close friend. Also went to see Salt.

I highly DO NOT recommend Salt. Horrible movie.

And as lame as it is, I miss my boyfriend already.

FRIDAY is MONTREAL.

You've changed

This video basically speaks for itself.

beautiful, dirty, rich

In less than one week, I will be in Montreal and sitting in Parc Jean-Drapeau on Ile Ste-Helene listening to music and (hopefully) enjoying wonderful sunshine.

Before I make it to the great city of Montreal, I must first endure Moncton. However, I am getting paid to endure, and that makes it more than tolerable.

Today was beautiful. I finished reading my book, The Golden Compass. Time to find a new one. It would make sense to read the next book in the series, but who knows what I'll pick up.

KR and I attended Scratch's performance at Baba's last night. We spent more time sitting, but it was a good time regardless.

Better things are falling together.

Lightbulb moments

Pepsi has a really cool campaign on the go right now where they've asked people to submit ideas for making the world/your area a better place. Then, once ideas have been submitted, people can vote for the ones they think should receive funding. You can check out the leaderboard here: Pepsi Refresh. I think it is extremely exciting that a Charlottetown idea is ranked 2nd in the $10K category - opening up an all-ages music venue for Charlottetown.

Carry this picture for luck

"The best thing about a picture is that it never changes, even when the people in it do."

Andy Warhol

The lesson that eleviates the guilt

Ever run in to someone that you used to be friends with? I'm not saying someone that you've come to be mortal enemies with, but someone that you just drifted away from. Maybe they moved, maybe you both changed. Either way, you don't hang out with them now.

Almost every single time that I run into someone I used to be friends with, this exact conversation occurs.

1 "Hi! It's been so long. How are you?!"
2 "Good! Wow, it has been forever. How are you?!"
1 "Good! We really should get together and catch up sometime. Maybe lunch?"
2 "Yeah! That's a great idea. Send me a message on Facebook sometime."

And then, after all that, you invariably never send or receive a Facebook message, and nothing comes of it.

What's the problem you ask?

I feel extremely guilty about the whole thing! I'm sure I'm not alone in that either, although I recognize that I have much higher levels of anxiety than other people.

BUT, here is my solution. DON'T have that conversation. I know it's simple, but it has taken me until last week to learn this life lesson. Instead, here is the conversation that should occur.

1 "Hey! Wow, it's been forever. How are you?"
2 "Great, busy with blah blah, what about you?
1 "Also great, working at blah blah."
2 "Man, remember the time we blah blah blah?"
1 "Haha yes, man we had fun back then."
2 "Definitely. Well, it was really nice to run into you. Have a nice day!"

See how easy that is? No empty promises, no guilt.

The alternative solution is to continue with the status quo and just cut out your heart and lose your feelings.

Mine seems a bit less drastic though, no?

Whoaaaaooooaoaaooaooo

Life is good. I am happy.

Suck on that, Internet.

Went to Tracadie Beach today with some wonderful people and enjoyed mostly sun and about 5 minutes of rain. Went swimming in the ocean for the first time this summer. May have, by my standards, a tan (the general public would probably consider me one shade darker than albino). And I've started reading The Golden Compass (a little behind, but hey).

Stolen from Kate's tumblr because I think it's important

"Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else."

Paulo Coelho

Be good until then

It's that time again. You know, the time where I tell you about a musician or band that I am enjoying and you immediately go and check them out and fall in love. Or something like that.

Australian-born Sia Furler, mostly just known as Sia, is where it is at. And, it's more than probable that you've all heard her before, and maybe even liked her. She's had her music featured on Grey's Anatomy, Nip/Tuck, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Hills, Six Feet Under, and The Vampire Diaries. Breathe Me, a single from her album Colour the Small One, has appeared the most of any other song (and it happens to be there first song of hers I heard).

Now Sia has a new album out, We Are Born, and it is simply amazing. Notable and purchase-worthy tracks include, but are not limited to:
-Clap Your Hands

-Stop Trying
-You've Changed
-The Co-Dependent

Almost Famous

Turns out I was rubbing elbows with a celebrity last weekend and I didn't even know. Teddy Geiger was at Hunter's Ale House listening to local heroes Boxer the Horse. I didn't know who he was at the time. In fact, I still don't know who he is. But a co-worker seemed pretty excited about the whole thing.

Trustworthy Internet advice

Choose good company. Ask yourself if a person makes you better or drains your life force. If the answer is B, you’re busy next time they call. And the time after that.

bang bang choo-choo train

After coming to the realization that I almost never do anything exciting or spontaneous, or spend any of my hard-earned cash, I am currently contem-planning a trip to Osheaga this year at the end of the month.

Excitement!

Don't you think someone should take you home?

At lunch time, Keith and I took our mental health break walk down to the Sullivan Building and sat next to the fountain. This was a fantastic idea because the wind blew water on us while we sat there and it was scorching outside.

While enjoying the sun and mist, we somehow got onto the topic of how unoriginal and uncreative most cartoon bear names are, i.e. Little Bear, Brother Bear, Papa Bear, Sister Bear, Mama Bear, and Bear (Franklin).

Dolla dolla bills y'all

I wonder if my boss would let us put this up in the office?

Can we rewind to Parent Trap?

Looks like LiLo was ready for her sentence today - even she doesn't believe in her acting skills anymore. Her tears evoked no response.

Material Girl, Material World

I wonder if Madonna realized what she was starting when she rocked the bullet bar?

For something so unfashionable, it doesn't seem to want to go away.

Alpha Mike Foxtrot

Lucas and I went to see the A-Team movie last night. I'm too young to have ever experienced the television show, but man did I love the movie. It certainly didn't hurt that Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper starred in the film.

I think I have a thing for older men. First Sean Connery, and now Liam Neeson...

Er, scratch that. I know I have a thing for older men.

Through and through and through

It's been a while since I've really put anything of substance on this blog. Perhaps an update is in order.

I've been seeing someone. He is not a musician and so far not an asshole who can't seem to make up his mind.

As an added bonus, I'm going green and recycling.

My mother has returned to Calgary. Things have ultimately turned for the worse and the infection my grandmother has is now in her blood. She's resting comfortably and she's the most lucid I've experienced her in a long time. I like to take comfort in the fact that she will die knowing who I am.

My World Cup predictions have been hot and cold. I'm betting on a Uruguay/Germany final. Everyone else is joining camp Nederlands, but I'm sticking to my guns.

I went to Cirque on Friday and thoroughly enjoyed it. My favourite part was the end routine with the trampolines and the building. I only wish it had been a bit longer. Mitch created an elaborate backstory/plot for the performance - possibly as enjoyable as Cirque itself.

Spent the day in Summerside for work. I was able to have lunch at my aunt's place - pizza, garlic fingers, and cookies!

Things could be better, but they could always be worse.

Ridin' sulluh

All I could think of when I saw this ad was that joke... do you have any Israeli in you? Would you like some?

Someday you will be loved

When it was time to go to bed, he handed me the toothbrush he had bought just for me.

DEUTSCHLAND

The Germany v. Argentina game today was unreal. The Germans demolished the Argentinian side with a score of 4-0.

After losing the English early on, I'd like to give my full support to the Germans. It doesn't hurt that I may have fallen in love with Klose and Mueller.

We all grow up

My two best friends in my program, Matt and Nicole.

It's always all about hot dogs

(609):
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

(267):
like hot dogs and buns.

I'd trade it for a night out or two

Looks like 17 year old Lauren made a mistake. In high school, I started talking to this really nice guy from Morell and we hung out a few times. Things just didn't really go anywhere. I hadn't seem him since I was in grade twelve.

Today I saw him, on stage, with Tim Chaisson & Morning Fold. He's the bassist. And he has a beautiful wife and cute little red-head kid.

Oops.

Everything's better in Europe

They say when you fall off the horse you need to get back on. The problem with this is that the horse threw you off for a reason and if he could talk, he'd be telling you that you're great but he wants to have someone else ride him.

So tonight I visited a horse, in a sense. And the horse was polite and said it was nice to see me, but instead of getting back on the horse all I wanted was to send the horse to the glue factory.

The new saying should be if you fall off a horse, it was the horse's fault and it needs to be sent off to Elmer's (bye bye Boxer).

iTunes: Recently Added

1. Mat Kearney's album Nothing Left To Lose
Notables: Undeniable, Girl America

2. Tim Chaisson & Morning Fold's album
Notables: Real, Broken Hearted Beat

3. Boxer the Horse's album Would You Please
Notables: Bad Apples, Everything's Better In Europe

4. Drake's album Thank Me Later
Notables: Miss Me (feat. Lil' Wayne), Find Your Love (the 3:29 version)

Turn off the light

The power went out at work today for the last half hour. The best thing about working when the power is out is that we basically can't do anything.

Have you ever

You're great, but... The great break-up standard of the 21st century. In the same family as the It's not you, it's me. And yet, it doesn't take a genius to realize after, oh say, 5+ times hearing that... maybe it is me.

Now I'm not saying that I'm great at math, but this girl (the one with two thumbs) may have aced a few math exams in her day. If I remember correctly, there's something called a common denominator. In this instance, that would be me.

Basically, if one train leaves the station in New York going 100 miles an hour and another train leaves the station in Vancouver going 93 miles an hour... I'm still getting rejected at the end of the day.

The wrong four-letter J month

So it turns out that not dating my most recent ex-boyfriend is a lot like dating my ex-boyfriend. Either way I get no birthday card, gift, call, or text. In fact, after dating for two and a half years, he still can't remember my birthday.

Questions most people don't need to ask

(717):
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way

(1-717):
you don't.

I wanna lay low with you

Surprisingly, I had a great birthday. Friends, family, and co-workers sent well-wishes and gifts and were very kind. Dad and Jill took me out to Cedars for dinner. My Forever 21 order also arrived today - it was like giving myself a birthday present.

Thanks everyone.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

It makes me want to cry at how hard my father is trying to make my birthday special even with everything that's going on. Even so, not really in the celebratory mood.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.

Every day is literally one of the worst days. If it's not work, it's my personal life.

Tomorrow doesn't promise to be any better.

If you dig deep enough, everyone's a sinner

Broken Hearted Beat

In case you were wondering,

My grandmother had surgery last Monday to remove cancer and they thought she was doing really well. Now it looks like she probably won't make it.

I was supposed to see her in August.

You have 19 new inbox messages

Dear God. After signing up for eHarmony and not really liking the site, I lamely decided to sign up at Plenty of Fish. I signed up two days ago and have 19 messages waiting for me. 19.

You've got evil eyes

Lauren's dating dictionary:
Apparently the following phrases don't actually mean what you'd think. At least not when it comes to me.

"I just don't want a girlfriend right now."
Translated: "I don't want you as a girlfriend right now, or ever."

"I'll talk to you later."
Translated: "I'll talk to you never and keep the four movies you brought over to my house."

"Let's be friends."
Translated: "Let me look good by saying I want to make a 6 year friendship work but then actually start dating someone after saying I didn't want a girlfriend and never talk to you again."

What's your name? What you drinkin'?

I joined eHarmony.com recently. More so as a joke and I'm a sucker for an online personality test. I figured if it worked for the happy couples in the commercials, why not? But then I remembered that I live on PEI. Luckily I have yet to recognize a match, but today I received a match with a 19 year old from Charlottetown. My little sister is 19. I think my hopes of finding a compatible mate are slim to none.

She's got them demon eyes

I've had a busy and trying week to date - amazed it's only Wednesday. Today's intimidating moment was brought to me by Radio Canada. I was interviewed about Service Canada, en français. Considering I haven't spoken more than a few sentences of French since grade 12, it was a bit terrifying. It went well though.

Highlight of the day was definitely after-work drinks with MP and BC at Fishbones. Lifted my spirits considerably.

That's Bond to you

I think Sean Connery may have stopped aging. He's looked the same for the past... 15 years? And if this ad is any indication, he's getting (dare I say) sexier.

Life's big question

How is it already Monday?

Luckily it's almost not Monday.

Don't call my name

It was in that instant that I knew. This was to be the end. There would be no more late night meetings at the coffee shop, or afternoon visits to the art gallery. There was to be no more mornings spent lying in bed discussing politics, which I knew quite a bit about, but nowhere near as much as him. This was to be the end. But we would not go out with a bang. No, we were not the type. I preferred to fade into the background.

It would make little sense for me to tell you about the end without first telling you about the beginning. It was at a small coffee shop downtown. His hands were the first thing I noticed. I remember thinking they were the most beautiful hands. On mere instinct rather than thought I sat at the table behind his. I wanted to watch those hands as they jotted down notes on a pad of yellow paper. What was he writing?

“Excuse me miss?”

I was startled from my daydream by a young waiter.

“Would you like to order now?”

“Just a coffee, please. Black,” I said.

The waiter turned and left. I looked back at the table where the stranger with the beautiful hands had been. No one. Where had he gone? I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned, expecting to see the waiter with my coffee. It was the man. He offered me his hand; a perfect hand.

“Hi, I’m Mark.”

I sat in awe for a moment, then forced myself to reply.

“I’m Anna.”

Our eyes met and he held my gaze. It was then that I knew that he knew. There was no decision left for either of us to make. It had been decided before I had known his name. It had been decided before he’d introduced himself to me. He’d known, and I’d known, from the moment I saw his hands; we would spend many days together. I would be holding those perfect hands.

He sat down as the waiter brought me my coffee. He looked at it, seemingly sizing me up by my choice of coffee. Black coffee, plain girl. But he’d be wrong to assume that, which he would later find out.

We sat there talking for hours, unaware of anything around us. We forgot about the family with the crying baby sitting by the window, or the music playing on the radio. We talked about everything. His favorite color was red. He’d lived in Rome for a year. He had an older brother, Daniel. He had a very distinct way of speaking. He made you feel like you were the first person he’d ever told anything to. I felt an instant bond with this stranger, who, after many hours of talking, was no longer much of a stranger.

It was then that I remembered his note pad. I asked about it casually, hoping I wouldn’t come off as nosy. He didn’t seem to mind the question. He opened his bag and pulled out the yellow pad, passed it across the table to me. I flipped through the pad and noticed each page contained notes on a person he’d met. Instinctively I flipped to the last page with writing on it, and there I was. There was no name yet, but he’d drawn a quick sketch of me, which would become the first of many. I read the notes about me, somewhat embarrassed. He’d written about my eyes; they were like emeralds. He’d wanted to get to know those eyes. I looked up from the pad and there he was, his eyes staring back into mine.

In the months to come I would grow to hate those eyes. They were sharp like razors, and would tear into me without warning. There was no escape from those eyes. I could never understand how a man with such beautiful hands could have eyes like those. They were hawk-like, able to find prey from miles away. It was one of the only faults I found in him; his willingness to pick people apart. Friends, relatives, strangers; no one was safe from his eyes. But for tonight his eyes remained calm; two perfect blue pools waiting for a ripple.

It was well past midnight when we left the coffee shop. There was a moment of awkward silence as he realized I wasn’t inviting him back to my apartment. For a moment I was afraid he’d invite me to his place for more coffee, a line I’d heard one too many times, but he decided against it. Perhaps he read the look on my face. Instead, he offered to walk me home. We strolled down the deserted street discussing Shakespeare. His favorite play being MacBeth, mine Hamlet.

When at last we reached my apartment he turned to me, kissed me on the cheek, and said, “I bid thee goodnight, my dear Ophelia.”

I smiled at his Hamlet reference. And before I could so much as utter a goodbye he had disappeared around the corner.

It wasn’t until the next day that I realized I had no way of contacting Mark. I’d spent an entire evening with the man, I knew his favorite restaurant, how he liked his coffee, and what his Halloween costume had been when he was eight. And yet, I had no way to get in touch with him. I’d never thought to get a phone number in between discussions on George W. Bush and T. S. Elliot. There was a possibility I would never see the man with the beautiful hands again.

It was out of habit rather than desire for coffee that I returned to the downtown coffee shop that night. There he was, sitting at the same table with the same yellow note pad. I stared at his every movement. It struck me that every one of his actions flowed smoothly into the next.

I wanted him to notice me the same way I had noticed him. I took a seat by the window. After a few moments I could feel the weight of his stare, but I did not turn around. When he finally came over to sit with me I acted surprised to see him.
He took my look of surprise as bewilderment. He thought I didn’t recognize him. It was his turn to look surprised.

“Uh, hi. I’m Mark. We met last night.”

“I remember. I’m Anna.”

My words put him at ease. I remembered him. It was smooth sailing from here.
He ordered us some coffee. He remembered I took mine black. He shot me a look across the table that said, “Are you impressed yet?”

I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. He was absolutely charming. He had a voice fit for the radio. I could have listened to that voice all night. But that would not be the case. After only an hour or so Mark stood up.

“I’ve got to get going. Can I have your number? I’d like to call you sometime.”

I tried to hide my disappointment that he was leaving so soon; I barely knew this man. I wrote my number on his pad of yellow paper, not sure when the next time I would see him would be.

“It was nice seeing you again. Goodnight,” he said, and he disappeared out the café’s door.

I suddenly felt alone. I wanted Mark to come back. I wanted to talk politics and art. How could I miss him so much? I’d only just met him. But he was like no one I’d ever known. He was brilliant, charming. He knew what to say and when to say it. He was well informed on a large variety of subjects. I’d never met anyone who could discuss Van Gogh one moment and Mozart the next.

He disappeared from my life as quietly as he had appeared. The first week I spent near the phone, hoping beyond hope he’d call. I made excuses not to leave the house so I wouldn’t miss the phone ringing. But, he didn’t call. He didn’t call the next week either, or the one after that. After a while it got easier. I trusted the answering machine to take any calls I might miss. I went to a new café. I met a young couple visiting from Paris. We talked about poets, and it was then that I remembered Mark and felt a small pang of sadness. More than three weeks and no phone call.

It was about a week after meeting the French couple that I found myself on the sofa in my living room writing little haiku poems for amusement. I was pulled away from my prose at the sound of the telephone. I guess now it seems painfully obvious that it would be Mark calling. Of course it would be. I answered the phone half expecting it to be my mother inviting me to yet another family dinner, half hoping it would be a wrong number. He caught me off guard.

“Anna?”

“Yes?”

“Hey, it’s Mark.”

He sounded so sure of himself. There was no hesitation in his voice. I, on the other hand, was unable to keep my cool.

“Oh, uh, hey. Yeah, it’s Anna.”

“How are you?”

“Good, thanks.”

Yeah, good until you disappeared from my life without warning or explanation.

“That’s great.”

“Yeah. What about you?”

“Good also.”

I wanted to tell him how much I’d missed him. How badly I had wanted to see him. How hard that first week had been. I wanted to tell him how much I needed him. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. It scared me how much I cared for this man whom I’d met less than a handful of times.

“Excellent. I was calling in hopes you might want to join me for a coffee tonight. Our café, around 8?”

He’d said “our café.”

“I guess I can fit you in,” I said coolly.

“See you tonight, Opehlia.”

My heart skipped a beat when he said that last part. Ophelia. He remembered.

I went to the café early. I picked a table off to the side and sat down. It had been over a month since I’d last seen Mark. At first I’d been sad, then lonely, but now, now I was angry. Who did he think he was leaving with no goodbye? No warning. And just when I was getting back on track he bursts back into my life. How dare he? How dare he disappear and just as quickly reappear a month later?
A bell jingled signaling that someone was opening the door. I looked up and there he was, scanning the room. I didn’t move. He could find the table on his own. Surely someone who could disappear without a trace could find a table without any help. He spotted me.

“Anna, how are you?”

“Fine.”

My words cut the air like a razor.

“Yourself?” I added.

“I’m great.”

The waiter came and we ordered. I got a cappuccino. See Mark? You leave for a month and people change.

If he noticed my change in beverage it didn’t show. He started fiddling with the sugar packets on the table. I couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Where have you been for the past month?”

He stared off out of the window and I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me or not. I’d lost my nerve and couldn’t bring myself to repeat the question, so we sat in silence.
The waiter came back with our orders. When he left Mark finally spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry? Sorry for what? Sorry for leaving without notice? Sorry for forgetting about you? Why are you sorry Mark? Please, explain that to me.

“Oh.”

“I went to visit my brother,” he explained. “He was sick. It was very sudden. I’m so sorry. You probably thought I’d forgotten about you. But really, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

That was exactly what I’d wanted to hear. My anger melted away. No matter that he hadn’t bothered to call. No matter that I’d been broken-hearted all month. I wanted so badly to forgive him. I wanted so badly for this to work out.
He took my hand in his.

“Tell me something about yourself that no one else knows.”

We sat in silence once again, and I thought. What could I tell him?

“I’m terribly afraid of water,” I explained. “When I was little I almost drowned and I’ve never gone in the water since.”

I’d gone to the beach alone that day. I was alone a lot as a child. The current pulled me out and a lifeguard had to come save me. I’d never told anyone about this. Not even my parents. They’d never understood why I’d suddenly stopped swimming.

“Your turn,” I said.

“I was pretty lonely as a child. I had an imaginary friend called Simon. When things at home would get rough I’d tell my mom I was going over to Simon’s house. In reality I’d go to the park by my house and sleep there.”

I don’t know how long we sat there just holding hands. Neither of us spoke, but we didn’t have to.

It was getting late and the café was beginning to empty out. The only other people still there were two young couples sitting by the window.

Mark squeezed my hand.

“Are you ready to leave?” he asked.

I woke up before he did the next morning. I watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful.

While he slept I searched the bookshelf in the corner of his room. I pulled out a book on Leonardo Da Vinci and started to read it in bed.

When he woke up he smiled. His smiles had a way of lighting up his whole face. He sat up and looked at the book in my hands.

“I hope you don’t mind. I found it on the bookshelf.”

“It’s a good book.”

We stayed in bed all morning discussing politics. I thought I knew quite a bit from following the news closely, but I knew nowhere near as much as he did. We talked about the upcoming election. Who we thought should win. More importantly, who we thought would win.

For lunch we got dressed and he took me to a little Italian restaurant downtown. I’d never seen it before.

He ordered our meal in perfect Italian. I remembered he had spent a year in Rome. He told me stories about Italy while we waited for our food to arrive.

After a while my eyes began to wander around the room. The walls were painted vibrant colors and they had beautiful painting hung all over the place. I watched as two men in business suits laughed at a joke. I looked on as a man and his wife ate their lunch. All of a sudden someone grabbed my wrist. It was Mark.

“You’re hurting me, Mark.”

“You’re not paying attention to me.”

“I’m sorry, I was looking around. I’ve never been here before.”

“Trying to pick up another guy right under my nose?”

His voice was harsh. It didn’t sound like him. I was scared. His hand, that beautiful hand, was crushing my wrist.

“Please let go, you’re hurting me,” I repeated.

“Fine,” he let go of my arm. “You ungrateful bitch.”

His words stung, like a slap in the face. They hung in the air as I tried to collect my thoughts. I got up to leave.

“No Anna. Please don’t leave. I’m so sorry. I, I didn’t mean to. I just snapped. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

The waiter arrived just then with our lunch, and I sat down.

“Thank you,” Mark said to me.

He smiled, but his eyes told a different story. There was a storm brewing. I should have left. I should have walked out that door when I had the chance. But instead I sat there and ate Italian food that I couldn’t pronounce the name of.

I better find your loving, I better find your heart

Spent the morning at work watching the South Africa v. Mexico game. Amazingly fell in love with Mexico's kit. Started watching the France v. Uruguay game at work, continued at Churchill afterwards. World Cup is in full swing and work will be a magical place for the next month.

Speaking of work, we filmed a one-minute short to promote the use of social networking sites (Facebook, Twitter) within the government of Canada, and specifically the SCCY. It was fun. I played a youth getting a construction job. Didn't really look the part, but we're all about diversity and equal opportunity.

In other news, looking forward to the England v. USA game tomorrow. Reppin' my roots and cheering for England.

They'll call me freedom

We started a World Cup pool at work today in preparation for tomorrow. The way we are doing ours is we chose 16 teams that we think will advance out of this round. We get a point for each correct pick. After that we'll pick the winner of each match in the next round. Two points for each of those correct picks. It continues in such a fashion. I'm pretty excited as I feel this will get me more interested in the World Cup.

Aside from that fun, life's been a bit blah. My grandmother is in the hospital and goes in for surgery possibly on Monday. She just turned 81.

I'm so ill chicken soup won't help

My head feels like it weighs about 100 lbs. My sinuses hate me.

Made me laugh

Texts from Sometime in my Life: The Personal Archive

I text a lot. This typically means receiving a lot of replies. Anyway, at any given time my inbox is overflowing because I tend to be unable to delete them. More often than not the messages are about plans for the night but occassionally they verge on the hilarious or inappropriate. I figure it wouldn't hurt to share every once and a while. Here's a favorite:

"I hope his cock tastes like sunshine."

In true TFLN fashion, I won't give any context, but trust that it was sent in bitter, drunken anger.

Not abnormal at all

Know what is cute but probably not appropriate to bring (in your pocket) to your local Service Canada Centre (or anywhere really)?







A little baby raccoon.
And then the man said, "Want to pet my furry little friend?"

There's a hundred dirty things that I wanna say to you

So my friends over at 2Friends1Blog haven't updated since March and I've been mourning the loss of my favorite blog for the last little while. I say friends because after reading through the entire archives of their blog, I feel like I know Catie and Ryan. I actually feel like, years from now, I will be Catie and Ryan (maybe a little less male and a little less gay than Ryan).

Honestly, I've never laughed so hard while reading something someone else has written. Sure, I laugh hysterically at my own material all the time. That's different. No one is safe from Rytie's wrath... Tila Tequila, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears (x1000), the Jonas brothers, mullets, penny loafers, Real Housewives of every fucking state in the USA... the list goes on.

So Catie and Ryan, if you're reading this, please come back. I need more Monday Morning gross-outs, I need to hear more about pathetic cougars, I want more personal embarassing stories. Don't leave me this way.

BBFF
(Best blog friends forever)

I hope that you had the time of your life

I imagine the title is enough to let you know what this post will be about. Graduation of course. The Greenday song is pretty much only appropriate for school bus sing-a-longs, proms, and graduations. Well, appropriate may be a bit much - tolerated may be more accurate.

Graduation was everything that you hope it to be - a bunch of people, some you know, watching you cross a stage in a gown with an odd hood and getting your degree. I know it sounds lame, and it was extremely long, but it was the best moment of my life I think. Perhaps because education has always been so important to my family, I completely internalized how big this moment was since I understood what university was.

Oddly enough, and I think Dal is the only school to do this, you get "capped" before you get your degree. This caused quite a rukus with the graduands (fun fact: once you complete your course work, you are a graduand until you get your degree). We didn't have a rehearsal for graduation and we heard that you need to kneel to get capped. Where do we kneel? How low? How long? One knee or two? Luckily a professor came by to answer our multitude of questions. We could decide how to kneel, it didn't matter if it was one knee or two, or whatever. This prompted me to say, "So we just need to get low?", which then prompted about 10 of my peers to start chanting Low low low low low low low with the appropriate dance moves to go with. A highlight of graduation, for sure.

So we filled into the Rebecca Cohm auditorium and basically started getting degrees immediately. I like Dal's efficiency. Hearing "Lauren Marie Edwards, Bachelor of Science in Kinesiology with Distinction" was surreal. I walked over, knelt and was capped, then got my degree. I didn't fall, I didn't trip - it was a success! The only embarassing thing that anyone did, actually, was drop their blackberry on stage. I'd say taking your cell phone on stage is a bit of a faux-pas, for future reference.

After graduation it was an absolute frenzy. We were hungry, tired, over-heated, looking for our parents. My dad and I went on a wild goose chase around campus, getting a photo at all of the landmarks we could think of - Killam library (my home away from home away from home), Henry Hicks building, the Wickwire field, the big Dalhousie sign.

When you see my face I hope it gives you Hell

Last night Ryan, Lucas and I went to see Macgruber. Honestly, the only thing I knew about the movie in advance (aside from a friend saying he liked it) was that the main character has a mullet.

So we arrive with a few moments to spare, get in line, and then the most ridiculous thing happens. I get ID'd. At the movies. I had been out to two different bars the night before and didn't get ID'd at either, but the lady selling movie tickets thought I was too young to see an R-rated movie.

The movie was actually hilarious. I liked it, which surprised me. Some stuff made me queasy, like the long sequence of trying to get a bullet out of Macgruber's leg, but overall it was just all laughs.

That's what I said I would do from the start

I am happy happy happy.

Fisticuffs

And you kissed me like you meant it

Finalized trip to Calgary for end of August. Pretty excited. My grandmother, uncle, and his family (wife and two awesome kids) live there and I finally get to visit. My uncle also has a time-share at a resort called Panorama (not to be confused with Panama, oops) and we're going to head up there for a few days.

In other news, Monday marked my first attendance at open mic since last summer. It was a good time. Thayne played his Ranger Park song (remember Yogi bear?), among other tunes. We played Shark Attack Hard!!!! afterwards - video game. It's kind of hard to explain, but if you played it you'd love it.

Tuesday was back to work and back to reality. Looking forward to the upcoming weekend: Fishbones, graduation, and Monday and Tuesday off.

Hey now, hey now

I wish I had no use for repeating Marilyn Monroe quotes:

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

I'm not alive if I'm lonely

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

My mom says I can't be Peter Pan

I'm pretty sure, somewhere along the line, I've become an adult. Today I paid part of my MC bill online. I've taken to drinking socially. I make small talk about the weather and what I'm watching on television. I go to bed at 11 PM. I work for the government in an 8-4 job.

Next thing you know, I'll be wearing my cell phone on my belt and reading the obituaries in the newspaper.

Oh, have you seen my ghost?

All of my new music sounds like Joel Plaskett and we all know that I don't really care for him. Any unique summer music suggestions?

Stop and stare

Send me your emotionally unavailable, difficult, flirtatious, and reprehensible. Everybody's doing it.

Life A.F.

I was, up until two and a half weeks ago, a well-known Facebook enthusiast. This is a nicer way of saying that I Facebooked excessively. You can ask anyone that was on a my Friends list (because I probably left wall posts for each and every one of them) and they will tell you the same sad story - Lauren Edwards was tireless in her Facebook use. I messaged everyone on their birthday, regardless of how close we were or if I had only added them to snoop through their photos. I more often than not would respond to a wall post in under 60 seconds. When people uploaded photos, I would be the first to comment (in under a minute after upload) and the one to comment most. I 'liked' things and commented on people's statuses. I joined the groups for bands that I like. I actually had 80+ Facebook photo albums.

But then, one day, I quit Facebook, cold turkey. Hard to believe, I know. But you know what? Life After Facebook (A.F.) is great. I spend a total of maybe 30 minutes online everyday now - minus work-related Internet use. I check my Twitter two or three times a day, which takes about 2 minutes. The only other stops on Lauren's Internet ride are here and Texts from Last Night. Every few days I check my Dal email.

Life without social networking is liberating. I don't know what anyone is up to, and I love it. I don't know that the boy I have unreciprocated feelings for is wooing another girl through love lyrics on her FB wall. I have no idea who is dating or engaged. I never see photos of people having a good time without me.

I'm not saying I'll never return to Facebook. I mean, when asked for my reason for "deleting" my account, I checked off the box that says "This is temporary - I'll be back." I didn't even believe I would last the week. What I am saying, for now, is that I like not knowing what people are doing. When people say they have something to tell me, I never fail to be surprised. I don't have to say, Oh I already saw that in my news feed. And I think people appreciate having at least one person in the world surprised at their exciting news.